Why I’m considering reenlisting
about six months ago, I decided that I was going to try to reenlist..
Some may wonder Nicole why the hell would you do that if you hated it so much 😅😅 well here’s the thing and I’m gonna get kind of vulnerable so here’s some trigger warnings
TW- SA, ED
When I was in the military, I chose to enlist as an infantry man now some of you probably don’t know what that is but to sum it up it’s basically a guy job.. where I go and shoot guns and workout. I only chose this job because I wanted to do cool stuff and also this one guy I was talking to told me I would never make it past basic training so of course knowing me I had to go and make it past basic training, but not only that I beat all his PT scores too.👀👀👀👀👀.
I’m considering reenlisting because now that I’m out, I realize it was really a privilege to be in . I loved the structure that I had in service. I loved that I made amazing friends all over the goddamn world.. I hated getting sexually assaulted by my team leader and him getting away with it. I also hated the fact that I became so depressed. I became an alcoholic and was binge eating..
I gained 45 pounds in the span of five months because of my excessive drinking and eating . It’s been two years since I’ve been out and yes, I’m considering reenlisting, but not to the same job at all..
I think it’ll be different now because when I first went and I was very naïve I was very boy crazy and I’m not excusing what this man did to me but i genuinely feel stupid for being friends with as many guys as i was.
I wasn’t even trying to be a pick me girl and be one of the boys. I was literally the only woman out of 200 men. I rarely even had time to make friends that were civilians or women because I was constantly depressed or busy with work..
I’m only considering going reserve, but unfortunately I might not be able to go because while I was in I hurt my back. This is honestly devastating and broke my heart because it feels stream crushing. And not that being in the military is my dream but I’ve never set out for something and then been told no . Will keep you girly updated. #army #MILITARY #survivingabuse #surviving #embracevulnerability
Reenlisting in the military is a significant decision influenced by various personal experiences and reflections. Many veterans who consider rejoining often grapple with their past experiences and the changes they've undergone since leaving the service. The military can provide structure and camaraderie, which many miss after leaving. Additionally, there are unique challenges for women in the military, as highlighted by the considerable discussions around gender equality and experiences of sexual assault. The choice to reenlist also prompts reflections on personal growth and resilience. Veterans may question how their previous actions and relationships shaped their experiences and how far they've come since their time in service. Many service members face struggles with mental health, substance abuse, and adjusting to civilian life, all of which can influence their desire to return. Ultimately, for those contemplating reenlistment, it’s essential to consider not only the potential benefits but also the challenges and personal history that comes with military service. Engaging with support groups and speaking with current service members can provide valuable insights and guidance during this decision-making process.
