Abuse Survival Tips : DSBW Editions
I already made a colorism post but I wanted to dive a little deeper from a psychological perspective. I will provided a short lesson on how to navigate and protect yourself in a world that is programmed not to see your humanity. I am pro solution the problem.
Dehumanization and abuse : Dark skin black women are prone to be abused and neglected more because of systematic racism and long term after effects of colonization. It's very important for darker skin women to learn how to guard and protect yourselves from everyone (both men and women)because the world is taught not to see your humanity or pain. Learning the art of detachment and removing yourselves from people who will show signs that they will cause you harm. Pattern recognition is very important. If you know certain ethnic groups/ race have a track record of being racist or antiblack it best to stay far away from them and keep your distance. Never try to reason with people because they are never going to change its best to remove yourself out the equation. Abuse: If people try to abuse you make sure its the last time. The first time a person's try to abuse you, you have to handle them in a extreme way buy getting law enforcement involved or a laywer. Abusive men or women don't respect your existence so you have to handle the problem. Retraining orders, sue, and jail times. People who don't care about you dont deserve your empathy.
Dating, self preservation, and self care: Self preservation is so important if you're a darker skin women. Do not be a sacrificial lamb for nobody and dont join any organizations where people will try to make you fight for thier cause. Fight for yourself and worry about your own problems. Don't put your self in a one side situation where you have to do all the work (jobs familes relationships etc) dont be a work horse. If people try to make you carry all the heavy load= the solution is too quit. Dating : Make sure if you decide to date that the person doesnt suffer from internalize racism. A lot of men of color have unhealed racial trauma or they come from a culture that promotes antiblackness. Research the culture of men your dating and also do a background check on that person for safely purposes. A lot of men from different cultural backgrounds are taught to stick within thier own culture(which isn't a problem) or to date women of a lighter complexion because they want to keep thier families bloodline light or white. Knowing that information will save you from a lot of unessasary problems.Finding out if this person hates black women is important too because unfortunately this is common behavior in this generation because of online content and cultural pratices. Self care: Always keep up with yourself, never let how society treats you to break your self worth or self esteem. Just because someone find you unattractive it doesnt mean you should let your self go and stay ugly lol. Be a doll for yourself and never let your self go. Remember society shouldn't dictate your confidence. Have a mind of a winner. This will be your year. Personally, I want darker skin women/girls to know the truth about how the world really operates and what type of people you will encounter. Getting knowledge will protect you from experiencing certain situation because you'll understand who people are.
Being Transactional: Learn to lead with your logic instead of emotions. Learn the system that your in. Darker skin women are view as seggual secrets instead of being a woman that a men will present to thier friends or family because of the racial hierarchy system. It's the truth. Everything needs to be Transactional meaning when it comes to your time, energy and your existence =nothing should be free. If you're going to deal with people you should always get something out the situation. Society has painted us a the mammy or the ones that cleans up everyone mess. Don't do that. Learn how to also read the room. Don't put yourself around people or places that you're most likely to get abuse or to be the work horse. Your life should be smooth and easy. People will never change but you can always remove your self out situations = Self preservation. The world is very wicked and people don't care along if they have someone to extract from. The darker you are the more you need to pratice healthy selfishness and keep your distance from certain type of people and once you master that part of your journey = life will be very easy for you because you know how to navigate the system your in. Don't let people think they are entitled to your time and energy. you can say NO or IGNORE THEM
From my own journey, one thing I’ve learned is how vital it is to recognize the subtle signs of dehumanization and abuse early on—especially when society may not acknowledge the unique challenges faced by dark skin black women. Understanding that abuse can come not just from individuals but from systemic biases has helped me stay vigilant and prioritize my emotional and physical safety. Navigating relationships has been another area where caution and self-awareness made all the difference. I found that doing research on the cultural backgrounds of potential partners gave me insight into their values and possible internalized biases. It’s empowering to know what red flags to watch for, such as prejudices rooted in cultural or societal teachings, and to trust your instincts when something doesn’t feel right. Self-care isn’t just about physical appearance but also about nurturing your mental health and setting firm boundaries. For me, deciding to step away from situations and people that drain my energy was a game changer. I stopped overextending myself in family, work, or social obligations where my efforts weren’t appreciated or reciprocated. This shift wasn’t easy at first, but it has allowed me to reclaim my time, peace, and self-respect. Lastly, I want to emphasize the power of mindset. Despite facing systemic challenges, adopting a "mind of a winner" — believing in your worth and potential — can shape your daily reality. Celebrate yourself, find joy in small wins, and remember that societal standards don’t define your beauty or worth. Every day you choose to protect your humanity and practice self-love, you are resisting the narrative that tries to diminish it.
