True comfort doesn't come from controlling anyone.

"Comfort from control" is the sense of relief or stability that we get from managing, controlling, or defining things as we want.

In a relationship, it may be expressed like this:

• ✅ Fan reports everything → We feel confident. He doesn't hide.

• ✅ know the fan schedule clearly → We're comfortable that he's not going to do anything that worries us.

• ✅ Fan follow what we ask → We feel he values us.

Sounds good, but the problem is...

• If our comfort is only possible when we control the other person, → will turn love into a check instead of a trust.

• When a girlfriend does something out of control (i.e. does not respond to chat immediately) → We feel uncomfortable, like we are being dumped, while there may be nothing.

Simple summary

• Comfort from trust = Confidence that he loves us, even without reporting everything.

• Comfort from control = Only be assured if he does as we wish.

A good relationship is not to keep each other in the frame, but to choose to trust, even if you don't see each other all the time. Let's go from asking your girlfriend to report everything to communicating your feelings directly, that we care or miss and open up space for them to be yourself. Love will be lighter, freer and more comfortable than always trying to control. 💙

# Good relationship # Adult relationships # Psychology of love # Self-improvement # RelationshipTalk