This was the view from my bed at UMD College Park
I went to UMD College Park the fall after graduating from high school. I thought I wanted everything I didn’t have growing up, until I had it. And once I did, never felt more alone or lost in my entire life.
I struggled to find connection in a sea of tens of thousands of people. What was supposed to be an exciting fresh start, quickly turned disastrous when I began clashing with my roommates, my boyfriend and I broke up, and my mental health fell off the deep end. I pushed through 6 weeks of emotional and mental torment. But from my social media at the time, you would think that I had a beautiful living area and was enjoying my first semester in college. Every night I spent in this dorm, felt like a prison. The voice in my head got louder every single day.
This all quickly manifested physically when I developed appendicitis.
After my surgery, I felt like my body was telling me “enough”, “you’ve done everything you can”, “it’s time to go home”. My dad immediately hopped on a plane when I called to tell him that I was found unconscious in the bathroom on my dorm floor, and I was in an ambulance heading to the emergency room.
They say life will progressively make your situation worse until you cannot possibly ignore it any longer. First, it will just give you a light tap on the shoulder, then a smack in the face, then it will hit you with a brick. And if you have selective hearing (🙋♀️), then life will run you over with a train. I think my appendicitis was the brick, and after that I wasn’t trying to stick around for the train, because I could start to hear its horn.
The transition to college life can be overwhelming, often filled with challenges that test our resilience. For many students, the excitement of independence is quickly overshadowed by feelings of isolation and anxiety. The experience described sheds light on these common struggles, highlighting the importance of mental health awareness in college environments. Students at universities like UMD College Park often face high expectations, both personally and academically. The pressure to fit in, succeed, and maintain social networks can lead to loneliness, even in bustling campus settings. It's vital for students to seek out support systems, whether through friends, counseling services, or campus organizations, that foster community and connection. In addition, physical health can significantly impact mental well-being. The author's appendicitis episode serves as a powerful reminder of how our bodies signal distress amid emotional turmoil. It underscores the necessity of listening to our internal cues and prioritizing self-care, especially during stressful transitions. Finally, addressing intrusive thoughts and mental health challenges is crucial in today's youth. Open discussions and resources provided by universities can empower students, reduce stigma, and promote healthier coping strategies. The narrative shared in this article resonates with many who have faced similar challenges, encouraging dialogue and understanding around mental health in college settings.