this question is so f*ckin deep

if they knew: I was su!c!d@l at one point not long ago I use to steal a lot(i dont anymore) Ive been abused for 3 years straight from 3rd to 6th grade from my ex who had bad anger issues which shaped his life. and now I cant even look at a hammer without getting flashbacks. he also robbed me of over 3,000 while 'dating' so i feel that I need to always pay or give even when the person isnt toxic like that (i think that makes sense) I apologize way too much because I dont want to lose that person. I go home most nights and stare at my walls for hours thinking why im fat, why im depressed, why people find my ptsd funny, why I cant be normal, etc. I feel if I told anyone even one of those things... it would all crash down🥺💔

that i hide who i truly am to fit in