I didn’t just gain weight. I built a body out of..

I didn’t just gain weight. I built a body out of every feeling I refused to feel.

Both of these women are me.

2009 me on the left was living in a body that had been through:

• too many moves

• too many goodbyes

• weekends and holidays alone

• a husband working 72 hours a week climbing the corporate ladder

• and a whole lifetime of eating my emotions instead of actually feeling them

On paper I was “fine.”

In reality my body was waving a giant red flag:

They kept “checking my thyroid”…

but not with the right tests.

I didn’t need another shrug, I needed a hormone doctor.

My:

• Vitamin D was low

• B12 was low

• hypothyroidism

• fibroids

• migraines

• a gut that had held way too much trauma for way too long

Inflammation was quietly killing me, and everyone was acting like it was just “getting older.”

Meanwhile, my foundation was screaming:

• Feet aching from carrying the weight of everything and everyone

• Knees breaking down, holding all the times I wanted to move forward but felt stuck

• Falls that weren’t just “clumsy” – they were my body literally dropping me so I’d finally listen

I’ve been saying for years:

“I will be a miracle. I will NOT need both my knees replaced.”

Not because I’m ignoring reality,

but because I finally got the memo:

my body is not my enemy, she is my loudest truth-teller.

All those years of:

• lonely nights while my husband was at work

• holidays without him

• eating to fill the gap, numb the nerves, shut down the fear

• packing up another house for another move

…they all landed on my frame.

Every bite was:

“I’m tired.”

“I’m scared.”

“I miss my life.”

“I don’t want to do this alone.”

But instead of saying it, I swallowed it.

So my foundation took the hit.

Fast forward to now – 2025 me on the right.

Still not perfect.

Still not a fitness guru.

Still not living on air and green juice.

But:

I’m so much healthier.

I haven’t fallen in years.

My gut is finally calm.

My inflammation is down.

My nervous system is quieter.

My knees are still mine, and I’m not agreeing with the script that says they’re doomed.

I don’t just see “before and after” when I look at these pictures.

I see:

Before:

“I’ll eat my feelings, ignore my symptoms, and power through.”

Now:

“I refuse to abandon my body or my truth ever again.”

Now I:

• listen when my knees ache

• take low D, low B12, thyroid, hormones, migraines, gut health seriously

• see extra weight as information, not a character flaw

• ask, “What is my body trying to say?” instead of attacking her

• understand there is meaning in our foundation – our feet, our knees, our ability to stand our ground

This is not a “how I shrank” story.

This is a “how I decided to stand in my own life and heal from the inside out” story.

If you’re:

• eating your stress

• aching in your knees

• tripping over nothing

• collecting diagnoses like beads

• and being told “it’s just age”

…I want you to question that.

Your body might not be betraying you.

She might be begging you to finally feel and heal what you’ve been carrying.

I’m still declaring it:

I will be a miracle.

I will keep getting healthier.

My foundation will hold.

🦵🖤 Drop a 🦵 or 🖤 if you’ve ever felt your body holding more than just your weight.

You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy for wanting a different story.