Processing my grief through the holidays while adjusting to a new AuDHD diagnosis has been a weight I’m still learning how to carry. This season should have looked different for us. We should be preparing to share our first Christmas with our baby, giving our son the sibling he deserves. Instead, recurring loss has carved a hollow space in our hearts that feels even louder when the world is celebrating around us.
The holidays are a harder kind of lonely when your own blood family isn’t there to hold you, to see you, to love you through the moments you can barely stand. But I’m deeply grateful for my husband and his family.. my loved ones who haven’t let go of me, even when I felt like I was running away from the world & myself.
For years I survived by pushing my emotions down, hiding my pain so I wouldn’t feel it. Now I’m finally learning to navigate it, to name it, to let it move through me instead of locking it away. Healing is messy, and grief has become a part of me. One that may soften over time but will never fully disappear.
Still, I’m here. I’m trying. And that, somehow, is enough. We have eachother and that is something I will NEVER take for granted. 🕊️#actuallyautistic #grief #neurodivergent #miscarriage
The holidays can often amplify feelings of loneliness and grief, especially when navigating recent losses and new diagnoses like AuDHD (Autism and ADHD combined). This season, which is traditionally filled with joy and gathering, may feel starkly different for those dealing with miscarriage and the emotional weight that follows. It’s important to acknowledge that grief does not follow a linear path and manifests uniquely in everyone. For neurodivergent individuals, such as those who identify as actually autistic or with ADHD, processing grief may intertwine with sensory sensitivities, emotional regulation challenges, and the need for routine disruptions. The overlap of these experiences means healing involves embracing both the neurodivergence and the layered loss. One practical approach is creating small, meaningful rituals during the holidays that honor personal experiences and provide comfort. These can include setting intentional moments of remembrance, engaging in creative outlets like journaling or art, and seeking community either online or in-person support groups specifically sensitive to neurodivergent perspectives. It's also crucial to practice self-compassion and patience. Allowing oneself to feel the messy emotions, rather than suppressing them, offers a pathway to gradual healing. Connection with trusted loved ones who provide unconditional support becomes a vital anchor during these times. Remember, grief is a companion that may soften but often remains part of our journey. By sharing stories and fostering understanding around themes of neurodivergence, miscarriage, and grief during the holidays, we can cultivate an environment where more individuals feel seen and supported in their unique experiences.