I Chose to Advocate for Mental Health

I chose to Advocate, this is personal to me.

Without my voice I would have been killed by my Violent Ex, or lost in the Mental Health System.

Recently I was told my story sounds “extreme and delusional” and if it wasn’t for the paper trail I tried to leave to document it, “Extreme and Delusional” is how my life story would have been buried as

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

I will not allow my self to be lost nor will I allow myself to sit by while others are lost..

My Story is Their Story, Our Stories deserve to be taken serious,

Our health deserves a Fair evaluation

And our Existence is Valid.

#embracevulnerability

I was recently admitted into the Looney bin this past week, entered in 2/17 and discharged 2/26.

I was reported by a neighbor, and when the cops came. The Panic of knowing there was no way to convince them otherwise and I’ll be taken in, caused me to go full blown manic on their ass, (I was about 2 weeks without my DLPA, non intentional, just lost track of it)

They asked me what I took and I told them I took 15mg of melatonin to go to sleep. And that was it, the start of a BS journey into the Looney bin for the 3rd time in my life started.

Being my 3rd time, I was aware they would sedate me, a sedative I reacted horribly to on the last intake, in fact, I was Over dosed on it during my last hospitalization in Florida, and knew I had to speak up to prevent that from happening again.

Screaming to the Ambulance and the Medical staff all my allergies, begging/demanding they do not sedate me. Begging they check my blood before any drugs. My Mouth was all I had.

From day one the hospital was Fking up, lied on my intake form, claimed I lost 10lbs without ever weighing me. Asking me about my life only to mark my Active Case with the Ex Husband as “paranoid thoughts”

Was labeled a new Diagnosis without ever being seen by the Psychologist,

the Phycgologist, then straight up looking me in the eye and calling me “manic and delusional” -blinded by stigmas and labels, unable to see the Human sitting right in front of her.

I used my mouth to INSIST on a dosage that I knew would be safer for my Body, only for the Psychologist to prescribe a higher dosage anyways,

Of course I questioned her right to her face the following day

Me: “I see you prescribed whatever you wanted anyways, despite saying OK to the lower dosage”

Dr: points directly at me 👉🏼 “ what do you mean? YOU asked me for this dosage”

My jaw dropped as I stared her in her eyes and used my mouth again

“Did you just seriously try to gaslight me?” I asked her. “Gaslighting- a form of psychological abuse- from a Dr to her PATIENT in a PHSYCH Ward?” I stated, hoping to show her I was well aware of the games one might play.

Refusing to admit to her games, I settled on

“fine, a miscommunication occurred”. Saving my energy for the fight I knew I had in front of me if I was going to be taken serious.

After 9 days in the Looney Bin, I was able to bring awareness to the BS this 1 DR was responsible for, holding her accountable to her Boss and a team of nurses and social workers that I rallied in.

This I hope, not only helped Me in that moment, but also helped the other patients under this Drs care, that was being broken down instead of built up. My heart broke for a couple of the other patients I met, in there for weeks, looking like they will be in there another week more. They were getting more lost in their heads from her gaslighting games and being seen / called by labels and stigmas. Instead of for who they are, a beautiful soul, tired and exhausted.

I hope they have a better chance of being heard now. I hope the Dr was held accountable so no more patients have to experience such invalidation

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A reminder to you

YOU are your BEST advocate.

Do NOT be scared to speak up.

Your Voice Matters

Your Life matters

#Lemon8Diary #storytime #mentalhealthadvice #mentalhealthmatters #mentalillness