Unpopular opinion: I refuse to forgive my mom
I get told a lot to forgive my mom as she brought me into this world and I need to always respect her.
No, I don’t.
I understand being a drug addict is a disease. I understand it’s not her fault that she was involved in a car wreck that broke her back and resulted in pain medication addiction.
I also understand it’s not my fault for going through constant physical, verbal abuse, and neglect. I had no escape until I became an adult. She has never been held accountable for her actions. She has always has all charges released.
I have a family now. I will not let her meet my son. I will not talk to her. However, I will give her a chance and forgive if one day she decides to get clean and my other family can tell me they see the difference.
Until then, I choose me. I choose my son. I choose my family. She may be the one who brought me into this world but she has never been my mom. I finally reached the point where my choice made a difference.
I choose to stop the trend of addiction in my family.
In situations where familial relationships are marred by addiction, abuse, and neglect, the path to forgiveness is not straightforward. Addiction, often classified as a disease, adds complexity to the emotional landscape of victims who have endured physical and verbal abuse. The decision to withhold forgiveness, especially from a parent, arises from a need for self-preservation and the desire to protect one's own family from similar cycles of trauma. Forgiveness is a deeply personal choice and is not obligatory, even when societal norms suggest otherwise. It’s important to recognize that respect and boundaries can coexist, and choosing to distance oneself from toxic influences can be an act of empowerment rather than resentment. Breaking the cycle of generational addiction requires acknowledging the impact of past trauma and prioritizing accountability. Healing often involves setting firm boundaries, such as limiting contact with an addicted family member until they seek recovery and demonstrate genuine change. This approach safeguards the emotional and physical well-being of new generations, emphasizing prevention over forced reconciliation. Furthermore, mental health support and community resources play critical roles in recovery and healing for both the affected individual and their family members. Therapy, support groups, and rehabilitation programs help address the root causes of addiction and provide tools for rebuilding trust and stability. Ultimately, the choice to forgive should be guided by one's readiness and the presence of authentic change in the offending party. Prioritizing one's own family and personal growth is a valid and courageous decision that fosters healthier relationships and breaks harmful family cycles.
Proud of you girl 🩷 your the best mama!