Who am I?
I have finally decided that I'm ready to figure out who I am. A lot of people think they know me. They only know me struggling. I struggled with an abusive family dynamic up until fairly recently, my father was an abusive narcissist and my mom only ever cared about her comfortably which leads me to believe after years of narcissistic abuse from my dad made her this way. But he's not the only one to blame she's an adult who chose to have children with that kind of person. I'm the oldest of two children, it's always been just me and my brother. To the world my dad was "super dad" and my mom was a caring mother to anyone. On the inside my dad was head of the household so what he says goes or you're going to have a miserable time. My mom acted like she cared but really just used it against us with our dad to manipulate him and get what she wanted. I was perceived by my parents as the Golden child. From the time my brother was born I was always told that my father to be a good example for my brother and to show him how he's supposed to act and be. Looking back on a 4 year old to be given this task to take on was a lot. So from then on I was raised and molded to be what my parents wanted until the end of middle school/ high school. My parents only got worse and it caused lots of abuse to circulate. I ended up being depressed and anxious which caused an anxiety disorder that to my father were both fake, because of how I was raised I was scared of my father. Well he died 2 years ago. And ever since I have been lost. My mom turned her back on me and lets my brother care free live off her. For the final time I cut them out. Not just temporary but for good. Now I need to figure out who I am. I'm stuck being this isolated hard working people pleaser but I'm not pleasing anyone especially not myself. I hate who I am because of all the stuff I was put through, I want to be me who can be happy. I'm ready to grieve my abuser and the loss of my family so I can move on. I just don't know where to start. I'm open to suggestions and advice.#abusesurvivor #griefjourney
Navigating life after emotional abuse can be incredibly challenging. Many individuals who grew up in toxic family environments face similar feelings of isolation and confusion about their identity. Identifying characteristics of narcissistic abuse is critical in understanding your past. Narcissistic abuse often involves manipulation, control, and emotional deprivation, leading victims to doubt their perceptions and worth. It’s essential to acknowledge the trauma experienced and embrace the healing journey ahead. This process may include seeking therapy, connecting with support groups, and engaging in self-care routines that nurture your spirit and foster self-love. Journaling about your thoughts and feelings can also be cathartic, allowing you to express your experiences and chart your path forward. Another valuable step is to establish healthy boundaries with toxic family members, enabling you to reclaim your space and sense of self. Reading resources about healing from abuse and recovery can provide insight and comfort. Remember, you are not alone; many share your journey towards recovery, and there is hope for a brighter future filled with self-acceptance and peace.
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