I gained 30lbs and hate myself even more
When I got diagnosed with PCOS and was having long and miserable periods. Before I was 20 I was the girl everyone thought had an eating disorder because I was so thin. I always wanted to gain weight when I was younger. My childhood doctor used to yell at me for not being at the right weight since my metabolism was so fast, I was born almost 3 months early so I have always been small and was always in and out of the doctors office as a kid. My immune system didn't have the time to properly develop. My doctor made me feel so bad about not gaining weight even though I have always eaten and eaten well. But by time I was in middle school I noticed that I would binge to try to gain weight. Fast forward to getting diagnosed with PCOS they put me the depo shot when I was 24 because I was still having horrible periods and I knew that gaining weight was part of it and I had such a hard time keeping weight on I thought it would help. Also since I go to the gym regularly I didn't think it would hurt. Here I am 27 and I gained 30lbs. I can't seem to get rid of my belly and it's my biggest insecurity. I cry when I have to shop for clothes that aren't gym clothes. I also hate looking at myself. It's either I have a miserable time on normal birth control and lose my belly or have a belly and not have miserable periods. It's just so hard some days.#unfiltered #tryingtoloseweight #weightlosstips #embracevulnerability #healthylifestyle2024 #Lemon8 #Lemon8Diary
Reading about the struggle with weight gain and body image really hit home for me. It's incredibly isolating when you feel your body changing, especially when it's linked to medical conditions like PCOS or hormone treatments like the Depo shot. That feeling of 'I gained 30lbs' and then seeing 'I hate looking at myself so much' in the mirror is a pain many of us understand. It's not just about the number on the scale; it's about the emotional toll it takes. When I first experienced significant weight changes, I felt like my wardrobe betrayed me. Nothing fit right, and trying on clothes became a source of dread. Instead of trying to force myself into old sizes or hiding, I found that consciously choosing clothes that fit my current body—not my past self—made a huge difference. It wasn't about concealing my 'belly' or any other part, but about finding styles that made me feel comfortable and confident. Sometimes, even a simple change like exploring new fashion trends or trying a new haircut can be a powerful way to reclaim your self-image and boost your spirits, making you feel good about how you present yourself to the world, regardless of your size. For those of us dealing with PCOS, managing weight can feel like an uphill battle. It's easy to get caught in the cycle of thinking 'I need to get back into the gym' solely for weight loss. However, I've learned that shifting my focus from purely shedding pounds to nurturing my body and mind has been transformative. Engaging in physical activity that I genuinely enjoy, whether it's gentle yoga, dancing, or brisk walks, helps me appreciate what my body can do, rather than dwelling on its perceived flaws. It's about finding movement that supports your health and well-being, not just chasing a number. Dealing with the visible aspects of weight gain can be incredibly challenging for self-esteem. There were days I would avoid mirrors because I just didn't like what I saw. I started practicing self-compassion, reminding myself that my body is doing its best in challenging circumstances. Finding supportive online communities or even just a trusted friend to vent to can make a world of difference. Hearing others share similar experiences can validate your feelings and remind you that you're not alone in this journey. It's a continuous process of learning to accept and even celebrate your body, no matter its shape or size. Ultimately, navigating body image issues, especially when coupled with conditions like PCOS, requires a holistic approach. It’s about more than just what you eat or how much you exercise. It involves mental fortitude, self-love, and seeking support. It's okay to have tough days, but it's equally important to keep striving for self-acceptance and to find joy in your body's capabilities. Remember, your worth is not measured by the scale, and you deserve to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.
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