It's incredible how often I hear, 'Oh, but you look like a girl!' or get hit with a quick 'she/her!' when I've just introduced myself as non-binary and using they/them pronouns. This experience is something I know many other enby femmes can relate to. For me, being an enby femme isn't about fitting into a neat little box; it's about embracing the beautiful complexity of my identity. So, what exactly does 'enby femme' mean to me? Well, 'enby' is a phonetic abbreviation of 'non-binary,' meaning my gender identity doesn't fit strictly into male or female. And 'femme' refers to my gender expression – how I present myself to the world. I love dressing up, wearing makeup, enjoying traditionally feminine aesthetics, and yes, sometimes that completely throws people off when they learn 'i'm non binary'. They often expect a non-binary person to present more androgynously, which is a valid expression for many, but certainly not the only one! The biggest hurdle for me, and something the OCR reminded me of, is the constant battle against misgendering. When someone immediately assumes 'you're a girl' because of my appearance, it can feel incredibly invalidating. I've had countless conversations where I’ve patiently explained, 'i use they/them pronouns,' only to have them slip up with 'she/her!' moments later. It’s not always malicious, but it highlights a deep-seated societal assumption that feminine presentation equals womanhood. It's a disconnect that can be really exhausting to navigate. But being an enby femme is also incredibly empowering. It means I get to redefine what femininity looks like. I can wear a beautiful dress, do a full face of makeup, and still know deep down that I am non-binary. My gender expression doesn't dictate my gender identity. It’s about reclaiming what society has often tried to assign exclusively to one gender and making it my own. It's my way of saying, 'yes, I can be all of this, and still be me.' It truly feels like 'i'm non binary and use they/them pronouns' is a powerful statement of self, regardless of my outward presentation. Finding a community of other enby femmes or LGBTQ+ individuals who understand this intersection has been a game-changer. Sharing stories and tips for navigating social situations, dealing with misgendering, and celebrating our unique identities makes a huge difference. If you're struggling with similar experiences, remember you're not alone. There are so many of us out here breaking down barriers and showing the world the diverse beauty of non-binary identities. My advice? Be patient with yourself and others, but also advocate for your truth. It's okay to correct someone, and it's okay to set boundaries. Your identity is valid, regardless of how you choose to express it. Embrace your 'femme' side, celebrate your 'enby' identity, and never let anyone tell you who you are based on how you look. It's a journey of self-discovery, and every step is a victory!