My Testimony
Testimony: I was afraid to speak about the Adultery but someone needs to know that GOD has forgiven you & he loves you.
I stepped out on my husband December of 2022. I was done, I was tired. I had no more hope. I didn’t believe that our relationship could get better. It wasn’t intentional but I didn’t see the open door. I felt like I was communicating my concerns and they weren’t important enough to change. Only to realize that I wasn’t in fact communicating, I was talking at him. I was selfish. I only seen things my way. I struggled with submission…….
I ran away from GOD because I knew I was wrong and I thought there was no place for a sinner like me in the kingdom. I stepped down from leading worship. I eventually stopped going to church all together due to guilt and shame setting in. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of what I had done to my family.
I ran to drinking (everyday), smoking (everyday), and clubbing (every weekend). I ran away from my children, I ran away from my dreams, I ran away from my gifts. I ran away from facing the truth. I ran away from being accountable. I ran away from the ugly side of myself.
After so many months of polluting my mind, body and soul the only voice I became used to was the enemy. He told me how ugly I was, he reminded me of all I did wrong. I truly felt unworthy, filthy, and low.
One day I was leaving work, got into a uber, as I was about half way home I felt like I was having an anxiety attack (mind you I have never had one before). It was bad I ended up needing Ambulance to come and get me from the side of the highway. From that day forward my desire to smoke a vape was gone because I remembered that I was smoking while waiting for my Uber to come get me and this anxiety attack made me feel like I couldn’t breathe.
Slowly but surely, my desire to drink went away it just didn’t taste right. Now that my mind isn’t clouded, my focus became my family but I was still struggling mentally and emotionally.
My husband and I decided that we were going to work together for the well being of our Son. Our plan wasn’t to be together but in working together for our children, we found ourselves loving on each other again and moved back under one roof.
I confessed my sins and recommitted my life back to Christ on October 1st 2023.
December 12th 2023 we found out that I was pregnant. I became very sick and had to come out of work. Of course, the enemy spoke in my ear day and night: things like I didn’t deserve this baby, I wouldn’t make it past my delivery date and reminders of the adultery.
Jireh was Born in August 2024. After I had Jireh I immediately felt unexplainable Joy, unexplainable sense of peace, and an unexplainable understanding of love.
GOD spoke to me, He revealed that Jireh was placed in my womb on an assignment. Though many know the umbilical cord to supply nutrients to the baby from mom, Jireh was in fact supplying nutrients to me. He was actually keeping me alive and giving me what I needed during those 9 months.
Jireh was sent to me to Heal!
Jireh had to do it!
Jireh worked from the inside out!
Jireh made me believe again!
Jireh gave me hope again!
Jireh restored my soul!
Jireh forgave me!
Jireh loves me!
Jireh is Beautiful and reminds me that I am too!
Looking at my son I’m reminded daily that Jireh Loves me in-spite of how I see myself and he Forgives.
I shared so others will know that you are not alone, HE forgives and HE loves 🙌🏾♥️
In life, everyone faces challenges that test their beliefs and relationships. This testimony emphasizes the importance of open communication in relationships, recognizing when issues arise, and the need for spiritual connection. Many individuals struggle with feelings of guilt and shame, especially after making mistakes like infidelity. Such experiences often lead to a downward spiral of negative habits, as shown in the author's journey into drinking and smoking. These behaviors can cloud one's judgment and lead to a sense of hopelessness. However, healing is possible through faith and community. Just as the author discovered the strength to seek help, many can find solace in spirituality and the support of loved ones. The birth of Jireh symbolizes a renewed mission and a reminder of unconditional love. The author's experiences resonate with many who feel unworthy; highlighting that love and forgiveness can come from unexpected places, especially from God. Those who relate to this journey can find inspiration to confront their challenges, seek reconciliation in their relationships, and embrace personal growth. It’s important to acknowledge that it’s okay to seek support and not face struggles alone. Community, faith, and personal accountability pave the way for healing and joy, proving that no one is beyond redemption.
