To the eldest daughter who bears the world.🌏❤️‍🩹

Eldest Daughter Syndrome * is not an official psychological disease or diagnosis, but a condition or syndrome with a clear birth and birth tendency to the eldest daughter of the house, due to the social, cultural and parenting conditions of parents who often expect the eldest daughter to "be the third parent of the children," although the eldest sister is still just a "child."

🥀 Symptoms of people with eldest daughter syndrome:

• Feel responsible for everything and everyone

• Feel like doing everything by yourself or alone

• Feel worthless without being helpful

• Fear of mistakes, failure, perfectionist

• Keep stress, regret, cry alone

• Watch over, bear the feelings of others until forgetting yourself

• Refuse not to help others throughout their tiredness.

• Feel guilty to choose to focus on yourself first

• Feeling isolated despite family intimacy

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⁉️, didn't "eldest son" experience the same pressure?

- The answer is: Yes! But different from the eldest daughter. Because family, culture and society set expectations for women differently than men, while sons are expected to succeed to enhance their own and family lives, daughters are expected to embrace, care, understand and help everyone in the home, and must set a good example for both children and mothers for their future children.

Therefore, the pressure knot of the daughter and eldest son. Despite the similar foundation, the expression may not be the same.

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💔 the negative effects of trying to "be the first good daughter."

- Some eldest daughters don't even know what they're doing is destroying their mental health because they don't choose. This may be the only life they've known and lived with the expectations of their parents and society. People around them seem to do the same thing. People who start to understand their feelings start to realize that they have the crux of eldest daughter have a hard time overcoming habituation, winning their own hearts, refusing to help or be dependent on everyone all the time.

The condition of the eldest daughter, who is not healed and treated, can lead to poor mental health, feelings of worthlessness, feelings of isolation because one cannot consult anyone, is depressed, exhausted, and ultimately burned out with life, because all the energy is spent doing for others.

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❤️‍🩹 If you're "tired eldest daughter," we'd say:

• Refuse, let others face their problems, do not constantly fix, find solutions, or improve others.

• Always remind yourself that we are worthy and worthy of love without conditions, without perfection, without being the best.

• We all have the right to rest when tired. Don't feel guilty about choosing to protect yourself first. Tired for a long time, reward yourself.

• Crying is not weakness; asking for help does not mean failing; those who are really strong are those who know their limits and dare to accept them before they are too late.

• If we give up carrying the world on our shoulders, it doesn't mean the world will break tomorrow, put it down sometimes because it shouldn't have been our responsibility in the first place.

• There are a lot of people around us who worry about us. Sometimes they look at us at a distance but don't dare to say anything because they fear that we will feel bad. If we try to open up, we may find a lot of people available to help us.

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💗, if you're worried about the tired big sister,

• Show untiring concern. Don't point out that he can't. He's stressed or weak. The eldest child doesn't like the feeling of worrying, being a stagger, or being unhelpful. If you're worried about him, keep talking to him gently. He's been tired for a long time. Take a break. Someone's worried here. If there's anything you want to talk about, you can tell me.

• If he asks for your help, don't emphasize "See? I helped you" or "This is the first help." True good intentions don't have to be loud. Just help him and act as normal as possible and ask, "What else do you want?"

• If they are stressed, don't bother or ask to tell. The eldest child needs space and peace to analyze what's going on in his head first. Being squeezed in an unprepared time makes him even more unwilling to talk, unwilling to tell or open up to anyone. What to do is ask, "Is everything okay? Do you want something? If you want us, we're always here."

• If he doesn't tell you anything, don't make him feel guilty, don't be angry or touchy that he doesn't trust... because it's not about you. It's his feeling. He's not ready, he's not ready. Every habit takes time to correct. If one day he trusts you enough, he feels safe, he will approach and open up.

• If he tells you anything, do not judge, do not try to control his thoughts, teach, and do not say that he thinks too much or stresses himself. It will make him feel guilty about opening up and may not say anything else. We have a duty to understand, listen gently, offer his thoughts when he needs to.

• Finally, don't throw everything at the eldest child. He looks strong and dependable, but he is still an ordinary person. Don't expect him to solve problems or be constantly dependent. If you want him to be better, you have to give him time and space to focus on yourself without worrying about others.

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Who has the eldest daughter now? Raise your hand!

Encourage all the eldest sisters who carry the world on their shoulders 💕🫶🏻. You are not alone. You are not weak at all. You are very strong and too good that others will not reach. If possible, try to give others the opportunity to help you, as you have always helped them. 🙌🏻✨

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