How to deal with losing yourself to motherhood 🍋
I’m getting back into blogging.
www.shellydays.com
I’d love for you to follow.
This is a post I’ll be adding to my blog but thought I’d share it here. Happy Reading!!
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I’ll start by saying, none of us moms have it all figured out. It takes a positive mindset and consistency to pull yourself out of this “problem.” I truly hope I can help every parent out there with my tips. Please remember I’m rooting for you!!!
1. Start with your mindset. Your mind controls your body. Positive affirmations helped me a lot. When I think something negative, I like to remind myself of these things. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are an amazing mother! You are exactly what your children need. If you are religious, pray daily and ask for strength and wisdom. The lord will give you what you need.
2. Give yourself some Grace!! This is a big one that I struggle with A LOT!!!!! I sometimes feel like I just work and care for the kids. But, that mindset comes into play and I remind myself… The kids are healthy and fed. I did laundry. I did great!!!! Doesn’t matter if the house is a mess sometimes. No ones coming over anyways.
3. Have a routine! I can’t say this enough. A routine helps you stay in control and helps your day go smoother. It’s also a lot of strain off your mental health. I’ll admit, not everyday does the routine go as planned but more days than not, it goes well. Your kids will eventually catch on and know what to do without you making a fuss.
4. Get some much needed Me time! If you have to step away and get some fresh air and reset, DO IT! It’ll be better for your mental health and your children in the long run. I personally like to find “pockets of peace” throughout the day. When the kids eat dinner and are quieter, I’ll sneak off but still stay nearby to have a breather. On some days, I also eat dinner after my kids go to bed, just so I can eat in peace and catch up on a show or 2. If you have a village to help you, please utilize them. They’re happy and willing to help you!
5. Have fun! They’re only a kid once. You’ll miss the years when they are super clingy and want to snuggle all the time. Work on making fun memories and enjoying the time you have with them. Tomorrow isn’t promised.
6. Remember who you were before you had kids. What did you like? What were you into? What were your hobbies? Get back into figuring out who YOU are. Try setting goals for yourself. Start with 3 and cross them off as you achieve them.
7. Don’t get too wrapped up in being “Worlds best mom” there’s no such title. One day, you’ll look up and you’ll be an empty nester. It’s okay to focus on you. If you’re taken care of, the kids are taken care of. The reason I wrote this last is because it leads back to #1 . Anytime you forget or start to slip, come back to these tips and start again. Remember, no one is perfect but you are a great mom and exactly what your children need.
It's a feeling many of us mothers know all too well: that quiet sense of 'losing yourself to motherhood.' One day you're a vibrant individual with hobbies and dreams, and the next, your entire world revolves around tiny humans. While it's a beautiful journey, it's also completely normal to feel like you've misplaced a part of who you are, the woman beneath the 'mom' title. I’ve been there, staring at my reflection and wondering who that tired person was. The constant demands, the endless to-do lists, and the sheer mental load can sometimes make it feel impossible to connect with your former self or even discover a new one. It's more than just needing 'me time'; it’s about a deeper identity shift that can leave you feeling adrift. We often feel guilty for even thinking this way, as if wanting to be 'more than a mom' diminishes our love for our children. But that’s simply not true. One of the biggest lessons I've learned about how to deal with losing yourself to motherhood is the importance of acknowledging these feelings without judgment. It’s okay to miss parts of your old life; it’s okay to want to pursue things outside of your family. This isn't selfishness; it's self-preservation. When you're feeling lost, it's a sign that you need to intentionally carve out space for yourself, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. Beyond the practical tips like setting routines or finding 'pockets of peace,' it’s crucial to actively engage in self-reflection. What aspects of your pre-kid self do you miss most? Was it a certain creative outlet, a passion for reading, or just the freedom to go out spontaneously? Start small. If you loved reading, try dedicating 15 minutes before bed. If you enjoyed painting, sketch for a few minutes while the kids nap. These tiny acts of rebellion against the 'mom identity' can be incredibly powerful in helping you slowly piece yourself back together. Another vital component is communication. Often, our partners or support systems don't fully grasp the depth of feeling lost unless we articulate it. Don't be afraid to voice your needs for space or help. It’s not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength and self-awareness. Remember, a close-up image of a woman's face like the one often seen on inspiring social media posts, radiating confidence, isn't always the full picture. Behind that image, there's a real person navigating the same challenges. Building a community of like-minded moms who understand this struggle can also provide immense comfort and practical advice. You might even discover new hobbies or interests alongside them. Reclaiming your identity in motherhood is an ongoing journey, but one well worth taking for your well-being and, ultimately, for your family.
You are 1000% right in all points you made! 🤍