I’m ok. :)
One of my worst memories as a kid is before I knew something was wrong and I had disabilities I almost let my nephew run out into the road. I didn’t understand what was happening and my sister forever blames me for this.
I’m also nothing compared to Jeremiah. My older brother that died in 2020. He was more of a favorite than I was to both my siblings.. never felt connected to them anyways no matter how hard I try. I made it to college which is great and all but my life isn’t moving forward or backwards. I’m pretty much stuck where I am. Homeless, no license, no job but an on campus one that barley pays enough. I have a lot of medical issues I can’t resolve without insurance..And I need help but I can’t ask anyone for help but my dad and very now and then again my aunt but I can’t keep relying on them. They have their own lives. Even then I still don’t feel connected with my dad either. Everything is like static to me.
And I haven’t told my friends this but I envy their relationships with their siblings. They all seem so close and then there’s just me.. I’m useless. Which I’ve pretty much accepted. I wonder why would happen if I just disappeared sometimes.
I have so many stores to tell.. but who would even listen atp.
And I don’t stink I swear I don’t… I’m really nice too.
Living through difficult family dynamics and grappling with mental health challenges can often feel isolating, as reflected in this personal account. Many people who face disabilities or invisible illnesses experience a similar sense of being misunderstood or unfairly judged by those closest to them. It’s important to recognize that healing and progress don’t always follow a linear path; feelings of stagnation or disconnection are common but can be overcome with the right support. One aspect that resonates deeply is the tension between wanting to rely on family for support and feeling hesitant because of their own struggles. In my experience, establishing a trusted support system beyond immediate family—whether through counseling, support groups, or trusted friends—can gradually fill that gap. Even in moments of homelessness or financial instability, reaching out to community resources or campus services, if available, might help alleviate some pressures. The pain of comparing oneself to siblings or loved ones and feeling unseen can be overwhelming. However, it’s valuable to remember that each person’s journey is unique, and self-worth is not dependent on comparison. Small steps like setting personal goals, pursuing hobbies, or engaging in creative outlets can foster a sense of purpose and self-expression. Mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety often carry stigmas that make it hard to be vocal about struggles. Yet, opening up to the right people can bring relief and understanding. For example, therapy or peer support groups offer a safe environment to share experiences without judgment. Regarding the harsh criticisms found in family conflicts—as alluded to in the OCR text—these can be deeply damaging. Standing firm with self-compassion and possibly seeking mediation or professional help for family communication might reduce ongoing conflict. Remember, being "nice" and deserving of kindness is an inherent right, not something to prove. If you or anyone reading relates to this story, know that you are not alone. Life’s hardships do not define your value or future potential. Connecting with others who truly listen and offer genuine support can be the first step toward healing and rediscovering hope.
