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I have one more thought. I thank you for watching over this you care about the ones you don’t may be a problem. Believe growing up I felt like nothing This marriage I’m stupid I do t have friends unless the are fat or I buy the. I am abused badly in private never in public. I feel like crap. Have for years but paralyzed try a narcissi know everything. I have wanted to die a thousand occasions I knew I would go to hell so I hung on. I read about Keanu Reeves’s we had no tv or radio. I fell in love with that spirit and wanted him to come to thangksgi ing. Life changes patterns but I told everyone I was in love with Keanu Reeves’s well he never came so I was a liar demon posseff. Now when I say that I get the same from Y family along with laughter at me costa t joke I try to me graceful If I am ever to be with him they have to know he exists. I have to buy his grave I’m almost paid off but time is not being made. I have slept with no one a long time anyway god in heaven knows I am a good person no parenting. I’m tired of feeling like god is looking at me in punishment am I goons make it. So a journey is slow thoughtful souls are dying. Judgement is hard unless you walk in the same shoes you are judging
I certainly feel anger I don’t think. That was and explanation. If there is no anger how do we feel mercy and grace forgiveness even. We lie? I don’t feel anything any more or I let peopletell me how I feel, why I didn’t live you life to tell you. If you smile is painted on how does one know? I have been called a saint a Christian one who takes time to look into a dogs soul does that make me what? I just strive for gods mercy grace and graceful if we don’t have that we are a sounding brass and I tinkling cymbal. God denied those people , I’m having enough trouble not falling off . I thought I wanted to go be a motivational speaker. After this I’ll be lucky to go talk to heretic




































































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