More about me: Smoxyfields
Vulnerability
🤍 My Story: I dont want to share everything, main thing is living with 5 mental health disorders. Inattentive Adhd-combined/comorbid, generalized anxiety disorder, disassociative disorder, ptsd,and Major depressive disorder.
was officially diagnosed in fall 2023, currently disabled by psychiatrist notes, and in a struggle with SSA. about to have an ALJ hearing sometime soon.
been in physical therapy twice, once for tennis elbow, which resulted in surjery, and now SI joint issues since 2016. always having chronic lower back pain from it.
have stage 1 arthritis (minimal with bone spurs) on my spine.
IBS.... I hate this one. your gut makes you feel like you're dying inside when having episodes.
🤍 How I Felt: mental.....so much made sense when talking to psychiatrist about the conditions he diagnosed.... at the same time everyday is a constant struggle. don't have a big support system, and trust issues I talk to one person about how I'm feeling. my bestie.
I mean, I'm mental. what's more to say.
physical.... i feel like a 60-70 some yr old, in a 30-34 yr old body. in pain. don't sleep a lot or sleep too much. cat doesn't help with that either. lol. I feel like my body just says nope not today. or lets find something to give her pain wise today!! uahaha....
🤍 My Takeaways: Can't fit in with societal standards. I argue with bf about mental health stuff,lawyer stuff, being....not normal in his eyes, and thinks i can just "fix it. not trying hard enough" bathroom is now considered a hostile place where episodes of IBS thrives on. elbow hurts againa bit but surjeon said if it did to suck it up.
Random Thoughts
💭What's on my mind: sleep, if i took medication earlier, come up with an idea for next artwork, food, watch art videos to improve art skills, want tacos now, bf up now... =_=, give cat to bf. so many thoughts.
Current Mood:
⭐Rate: 4/5
Summer Playlist
🎵Top Song Marigolds by Andrea Bejar
🎵Second Song dandelions by ruth something
🎵Third Song this one is opposite but third is: Manicby layto
❤️Why I love it I love a wide range of music. these just seem to be the top at the moment.
What I eat in a day: Home Edition🥘 anything quick and ready to make.
#aboutmyself #AboutMe #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #Lemon8Diary
Living with multiple mental health disorders like inattentive ADHD-combined/comorbid, generalized anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder, PTSD, and major depressive disorder can be overwhelming and isolating. Each condition brings its own set of symptoms and challenges, making daily life a complex balancing act. Diagnosed recently in fall 2023 and currently navigating disability status and Social Security Administration (SSA) processes, the journey involves not just managing symptoms but also coping with external systems that may not fully understand mental health complexities. Physically, chronic conditions such as SI joint issues that cause persistent lower back pain, stage 1 arthritis with bone spurs on the spine, and past surgeries due to tennis elbow amplify the strain on wellbeing. Combined with IBS, which can cause painful and distressing gut episodes that feel debilitating, the physical toll can mirror the intensity of mental health struggles. This dual burden often contributes to disrupted sleep patterns and persistent fatigue. Sharing personal experiences like this sheds light on the importance of support networks, even if small, such as confiding in a close friend or a bestie, to maintain emotional resilience. The lack of broad support and trust issues can deepen feelings of isolation but opening up to someone trusted can make a significant difference. Everyday feelings of being "not normal" or misunderstood by partners or others reflect a common reality for many dealing with invisible illnesses. Misconceptions about "just fixing it" or "not trying hard enough" highlight the social stigma that surrounds mental health and chronic pain. These challenges emphasize why personal vulnerability and honest discussions are vital to build awareness and compassion. On a lighter note, integrating passions like artwork and music provides uplifting moments. Enjoying a summer playlist with songs such as "Marigolds," "Dandelions," and "Manic" offers a diverse range of emotions and inspiration. Also, the company of a beloved cat, Mr. Kitty, and everyday joys like craving tacos or quick home meals contribute positively to day-to-day life. Recognizing the intersection of mental and physical health conditions, along with their impact on legal and social aspects, underscores the complexity many face. Authentic sharing like this helps others understand these realities, promotes mental health awareness, and encourages empathy for those managing invisible illnesses and chronic pain.