EP06: Will He Change After Marrige?
Context: A girlfriend venting over dinner about her boyfriend’s habits and excuses, trying to convince herself that marriage will magically fix everything. Here’s the story:
Her: “My boyfriend keeps telling me that once we get married, he’ll change. Do you think he’ll really get better after marriage?”
Me: “What did he do?”
Her: “At first, I noticed he likes scrolling through pretty girls online. But then it got worse, he started following and liking the really revealing ones. It made me uncomfortable, so I confronted him.”
Me: “And what did he say?”
Her: “He asked why I’m even making it an issue. He said, ‘We’re not married yet.’ Then he told me, ‘After we get married, I’ll be different. I’ll be disciplined. I won’t look at girls anymore.’”
Me: “Right… like marriage is some kind of magical detox program. I’m guessing that’s not all?”
Her: “We live together now, but he refuses to do any housework. The only thing I asked him to do was put a new trash bag in the bin. Just one bag. He said he can do it, but he doesn’t want to. ‘This isn’t even our home,’ he said. ‘Why should I do housework?’ But once we’re married? Oh, apparently he’ll ‘definitely help out.’”
Me: “Haha sure. Because the man who won’t lift a finger now will suddenly become a domestic angel after signing a marriage certificate.”
Her: “… do you think he’ll actually change after marriage?”
Me: “No. Honestly? I doubt it. 狗改不了吃屎. He won’t get better, he might get worse. If he treats you poorly now, he’ll treat you even worse once he thinks he’s ‘secured’ you. He’s not even putting effort in now. It’s all talk. 谁不会?”
📚 Reflection
Change doesn’t come with a ring, it comes with effort.
What do y’all think?
From my experience and what I've seen around me, promises of change after marriage often come from a desire to avoid conflict rather than genuine intent. Many men say they’ll be different once married, but it’s important to watch their current behavior closely. If someone won’t lift a finger or respect boundaries before the marriage, that attitude usually won’t improve just because of a wedding ring. Commitment is more than a promise; it requires consistent effort and respect every day. Living together before marriage can reveal a lot about a partner's true character and habits. For example, if chores and responsibilities aren’t shared now, it’s a red flag that things could get tougher once married, not easier. I’ve learned that communicating openly about expectations without sugarcoating is key. If your partner dismisses your concerns or brushes them off with vague promises, take that seriously. Change after marriage isn’t automatic—it comes from both parties being willing to work on themselves and the relationship. Ultimately, trust your intuition. If you feel uneasy about their current behavior, don’t wait for a magic moment or a wedding date to make decisions about your happiness and well-being.
讲而已 谁不会？ I only believe in efforts. CONSISTENT efforts throughout the rs then can talk about marriage. If not 自己 过, u clean only one person’s housework. If w him, it’s double the burden. I’m sorry to hear this 🥺