How to Communicate Better When Long Distance
01. Don't Take Their Busyness Personally
Openness and understanding are big parts of better communication. Part of what makes communication work well is when we don't take things such as another person's busyness personally. A few missed calls here and there doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you. Don't allow your mind to wander. As long as the communication is steady and consistent, you two can make it work.
02. Stick To a Schedule
Speaking of consistency, make sure to be on the same page when it comes to when and how you plan to communicate with each other. If it's every other night, set up a time. If one person can't make it, let your partner know ahead of time and create a makeup video call for another time.
03. Don't Leave Room For Guessing
Part of what makes long distance difficult is that we can't see how our partner is day to day. While video calling can bridge the gap between distance, it still doesn't replace seeing one another in person. So, it's important to not leave room for each other to guess what's on their partner's mind. Be clear in how you feel and your expectations, even if it feels like you're bringing up something small. Being straightforward and honest helps to avoid miscommunication later on in the relationship.
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I've been in a long-distance relationship for a while now, and let me tell you, it's a marathon, not a sprint! While the core tips in this post are spot on – especially about not taking busyness personally and sticking to a schedule – I've found a few more strategies that have been game-changers for my partner and me. 04. Practice Active Listening (Even When You Can't See Them): It’s easy to get distracted during calls, especially video calls where you might be doing other things. But truly listening means paying attention not just to their words, but also their tone and what’s not being said. Ask open-ended questions and reflect what you hear to show you understand. This helps so much in bridging that physical gap. Sometimes, when I’m listening, I even jot down notes in an open notebook, just like I do for work, to make sure I don't miss anything important they're sharing. 05. Get Creative with Connection (Beyond Just Calls): Sticking to a schedule is crucial, but don't let it get monotonous. My partner and I love sending each other little surprises – a handwritten letter, a care package with their favorite snacks, or even just a funny meme throughout the day. We also try to 'date' remotely. We've watched movies together simultaneously, played online games, or even cooked the same meal on a video call. It adds so much fun and makes the distance feel smaller. 06. Tackle Conflict Head-On (No Room for Anger or Disgust): This builds on the idea of not leaving room for guessing. Long distance can amplify minor disagreements. Instead of letting things fester or letting 'Anger' and 'Disgust' from Inside Out take over, address issues calmly and directly. Pick a time when you’re both relaxed and can give the conversation your full attention. Focus on how you feel and what you need, rather than blaming. Remember, you're a team, even from afar. It’s about understanding each other’s perspectives, especially when you can’t see their facial expressions or body language. 07. Set Clear Expectations for the Future: Beyond daily communication, it’s vital to regularly discuss your long-term goals. When will you next visit? What are your plans for closing the distance (if that’s the goal)? Having a shared vision and understanding each other's expectations for visits, milestones, and the future helps reduce anxiety and strengthens your bond. It gives you both something concrete to look forward to and work towards. These extra steps have really reinforced the foundation of our long-distance relationship, making communication not just effective, but also enjoyable and deeply connecting. It takes effort, but it's absolutely worth it!
