stillthinking.space

11 followers

Follow

Follow

Follow

1/7

1 saved

2

stop abandoning yourself to keep the peace

if you’ve been people-pleasing, overexplaining, or choosing “peace” that costs you… this is your self love reminder.

stop self abandoning, start choosing yourself first. soft boundaries are still boundaries. 💛

save this for the days you feel tempted to shrink.

#peoplepleasing #chooseyourself

1/22 Edited to

I used to be someone who constantly sought peace by avoiding conflict, often at my own expense. Overexplaining myself, people-pleasing, and giving in to others' demands left me feeling drained and disconnected from who I truly am. It wasn’t until I embraced the idea that "soft boundaries are still boundaries" that I began to respect my own needs without feeling guilty. One of the hardest lessons I learned was that self-love isn’t always about grand gestures like crystals or candles. It’s often the quiet, firm decisions—like saying "nah, I’m not pulling up," refusing to engage in toxic conversations, or choosing to rest without guilt. These moments represent standing by yourself, ten toes down, and that has made all the difference. Imagine treating yourself with the same patience and belief you once reserved for someone else who didn’t value you properly. I realized I was never "too much"—I was just giving my energy to the wrong people. Since I started redirecting that effort back to myself, I celebrate the small victories like going grocery shopping because I want to feel good, not because anyone’s watching, or taking myself on solo dates just for my own happiness. It’s also important to remember that people may sometimes be disappointed in your choices, and that’s okay. Choosing yourself doesn’t mean you’re selfish—it means you’re worthy of love and peace. Resting isn’t laziness; it’s an essential part of keeping yourself whole. And you don’t have to be "healed" or "perfect" to deserve kindness and soft, good things. Whenever you feel tempted to shrink or abandon yourself to keep the peace, save these thoughts. Practice saying no when you need to, set gentle but clear boundaries, and choose your well-being first. That’s real self-love—an ongoing journey of standing beside yourself and affirming your worth every day.

Related posts

Socialite 101: The Shift Nobody Talks About🫶🏽

You don’t need a new year, a new month, or a “perfect moment” to change your life. You just need a decision. The truth is, most shifts don’t happen loudly—they happen in the small moments where you choose differently than you used to. How you speak to yourself. What you tolerate. What you wa

87 likes

10 truths you didn’t know you needed to hear 🌟

1. You don’t need more motivation. You need to stop ignoring what your body is trying to tell you. The moment you stop abandoning yourself is the moment everything changes. 2. You’re not unproductive. You’re overstimulated and emotionally exhausted. Healing your nervous system will do more for y

1222 likes

🔥🛡️ Stop Sabotaging Yourself | 4/4 Portal Ritual

🔥🛡️ Stop Sabotaging Yourself | 4/4 Portal Ritual This isn’t about outside energy This is about you vs the patterns that keep blocking you The 4/4 portal is structure, discipline, and stability. So this is where you stop repeating the cycle and start choosing yourself in real ways No more

45 likes

5 ways to improve your relationship with yourself ❤️‍🩹

No one really teaches you how to build a relationship with yourself. But the truth is, self-respect, peace, and confidence start there ..not from other people. Here’s what I’ve been learning lately: 🧠 Talk to yourself like someone you love 🧘‍♀️ Feel your feelings without fixing them 🚪 Walk a

18 likes

Soror Release: DiChanta

This isn’t a story about being chosen, it’s about the moment you stop waiting, and choose yourself. Choosing peace over pressure, boundaries over guilt and growth over who you used to be allows the becoming of HER. This means no longer abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable. This is for the

0 likes

8 hard questions to ask yourself before you leave

💕 If you’re ready to stop settling and start becoming… The book is waiting for you. Link in bio, sis. Drop a 👀 if this hit you .. Note: Photos are for aesthetic purposes only. The people pictured are not related to the content or quotes. #relationship #relationshipadvice101 #datingad

83 likes

🌿 Healthy Boundaries 101 🌿

Setting boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s self-respect in action. ✨ This simple acronym reminds us how to protect our peace, honor our needs, and stop abandoning ourselves to keep others comfortable. Read that again. 🫶 Here’s your permission slip to: ✅ Say no without guilt ✅ Grow beyond what n

1759 likes

It's Okay to Choose Yourself!

When you start choosing yourself, your life doesn’t fall apart, the parts that were never meant for you do. At first, it can feel uncomfortable. You might feel guilt for setting boundaries, saying no, or no longer overextending yourself. That’s because you’re breaking patterns that once kept the

5 likes

ways you may be unknowingly abandoning yourself ❤️‍🩹

it’s a lot easier to do than you think! if you’ve been feeling burnt out, angry, frustrated, or far away from yourself, it’s worth asking yourself if you’ve been doing any of these things 💛 ➡️ ignoring your feelings denying , intellectualizing, avoiding ➡️ pushing yourself to burnout focusi

2278 likes

Signs You’re No Longer Abandoning Yourself

This kind of healing doesn’t always come with applause. There’s no trophy for choosing yourself quietly. But every boundary you hold… Every moment you soothe your own ache… Every time you say, “I deserve more than this”… That’s you coming home to yourself. You’re not overreacting. You’re not

266 likes

Ever felt invisible in relationships? Read this 👀

I used to keep quiet in relationships. Not because I didn’t know what I wanted, most times I knew exactly what I needed…but because I didn’t want to be “too much.” I made myself too flexible and easy going. I would wait… Hope they’d notice. Hope they’d read my mood. And when they didn’t…I end

9 likes

How to Start Trusting Yourself Again

No one teaches us how to trust ourselves again after we’ve been dismissed, doubted, or ignored. But rebuilding that trust is possible, and powerful. It begins with small moments of honesty: honoring your feelings, listening to your inner voice, and making choices that feel like alignment, not perfo

39 likes

Your Healing Will Cost You People—Let It

“They only loved the version of you that served them… not the version that saved you.” Healing isn’t just about self-love—it’s about loss. The more you grow, the more you realize that some people only benefited from your brokenness. They liked you when you were easy to control, when you said yes

12 likes

🪞 Mirror Moment

Kindness doesn’t require access. You can forgive and still keep your distance. You can love someone and still choose what protects your peace. Healing is realizing: not every connection deserves a return visit. Some doors closed because you finally stopped abandoning yourself to keep them op

12 likes

STOP doing this when you’re sad! (do this instead)

sometimes we can be our own worst enemies when we’re feeling down. our instincts are usually the exact opposite of what we need! these are 7 things you can do to ✨actually✨ make your day better! ➡️ stop eating whatever you want and start eating to support your gut health! certain foods hel

5486 likes

Showing up for yourself

💬 1. Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love • No more “I’m so stupid” or “I’ll never get it right.” • Start with: “I’m trying. I’m learning. I’m allowed to grow.” 🧭 2. Stop Abandoning Yourself to Please Others • If saying “yes” to them means saying “no” to your peace reconsider. • You do

7 likes

Best decisions you can make

The biggest life changes rarely look dramatic. They happen through quiet internal decisions. The moment you stop abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable. The moment you stop negotiating with your own self-respect. The moment you trust the quiet voice inside you more than outside appr

3 likes

Married To A Narcissist as a High-Value Woman

“Being married to a narcissist will either break you… or awaken you.” If you’re: • Walking on eggshells • Questioning your worth • Silencing yourself to keep the peace • Feeling emotionally drained but still loyal This is your sign. A High-Value Woman doesn’t beg to be respected. She

23 likes

Detachment isn’t coldness. It’s what happens when you stop abandoning yourself to keep the peace. Today, I’m loosening my grip. Not because I don’t care, but because my nervous system needs rest. #Detachment #EmotionalBoundaries #InnerPeace #LettingGo #HealingJourney

48 likes

🐎 How to Prepare for the Year of the Horse

(Begins February 17) The Year of the Horse is about forward movement, freedom, and embodied power — but not in a rushed or chaotic way. This year asks you to move only after you’re aligned. ✨ 1. Get honest about your higher needs Before setting goals, ask yourself: • What feels heavy o

28 likes

Stop Putting Yourself Last: 5 Ways to Finally Choose YOU! 💕

So many people are exhausted… not because they’re weak, but because they’ve been putting themselves last for too long. 😩 Always showing up for everyone else. Always being the strong one. Always making sure everyone else is okay. But when was the last time you showed up for yourself? Choo

42 likes

The quiet truths of trauma recovery ❤️‍🩹

Healing after trauma often looks different than we expect, especially once survival mode ends and the body begins to slow down. No one tells you that healing can feel lonelier than the pain. When you’re surviving, there is movement. There are decisions to make, fires to put out, roles to pla

1 like

Healing didn’t make my life perfect. It made my life honest. I stopped abandoning myself to keep the peace. I started listening to my body. I started setting boundaries without explaining them. I started choosing what aligns — even when it was uncomfortable. Because the real glow-up is th

9 likes

✨ How to Become Your Own Best Friend

You are the only person you’ll spend forever with, make that relationship your favorite one! Becoming your own best friend means: 🌷 Spending time with yourself 🌷 Speaking kindly to yourself 🌷 Protecting your peace 🌷 Celebrating who you are, every step of the way When you build a loving re

71 likes

If you struggle to speak your truth, set boundaries, or say what you really feel… your throat chakra could be blocked. Your throat chakra is the energy center of truth, expression, and authenticity. When it’s aligned: ✨ Your voice feels powerful ✨ You speak your truth without fear ✨ You st

0 likes

Loving someone deeply doesn’t mean abandoning yourself to prove it. There comes a moment when you realize that love shouldn’t feel like begging to be chosen, understood, or fought for alone. Walking away isn’t a lack of love—it’s an act of self-respect. You can love someone with your whole heart an

21 likes

Everything shifts when you choose yourself 🦋

You are worthy. You are allowed. And you’re already on your way 🦋💗✨ So let your healing be private. Let your boundaries be clear. And let your life speak for you. #selfgrowth #selflovetips #mindfulness #innerpeace #selfgrowthjourney

19 likes

Anxious attachment convinces you that losing yourself is the price for being loved. But no amount of shrinking, chasing, or silence can build real safety. If you want to stop living in survival mode, these boundaries are non-negotiable: ✅ Boundary #1 : Stop abandoning yourself to keep the peac

5 likes

Singleness is not a punishment. It’s not a delay. And it’s definitely not a sign that something is wrong with you. Singleness is a season of alignment. It’s where you discover who you are without someone else defining you. It’s where your healing happens. Your growth happens. Your self-respe

4 likes

To Those Who Come Against Me

Letter to Those Who Come Against Me To all who reach for me with control, judgment, or unseen hands, I feel the pressure of what you send. I feel the watching, the pushing, the attempts to pull me out of myself and into your fear. I feel the disrespect, the projections, the quiet hope that I

53 likes

Showing up for yourself

💬 1. Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love • No more “I’m so stupid” or “I’ll never get it right.” • Start with: “I’m trying. I’m learning. I’m allowed to grow.” 🧭 2. Stop Abandoning Yourself to Please Others • If saying “yes” to them means saying “no” to your peace reconsider. • You do

4 likes

Saturn Day Message

Happy Saturn Day..Alright… come sit down, allow me to tell you about the day but your spirit been whispering. The Mood of the Day: “Pretty on the Outside, Deep on the Inside” Sun in Aries → bold, speak up, move Moon in Scorpio → feel it all, don’t fake it Venus in Taurus → stay grounded, d

0 likes

The Cancer Moon spoke to me today… and I needed to hear it 🌙♋

Today, under the Cancer Moon, the universe is asking us to turn our gaze inward, toward home, family, and the people we carry in our hearts. But there’s one question that stings to ask, and today we simply can’t avoid it: are the people in your life treating you right? Cancerian energy is dee

2 likes

Self-Abandonment and Losing Myself to Love

SELF-ABANDONMENT PATTERNS “Where do I leave myself to keep the peace or be loved?” Self-abandonment is one of the quietest shadows. It often hides behind kindness, flexibility, and being “easy to love.” It can look like maturity or emotional intelligence on the surface, while underneath, it’s a

15 likes

He doesn’t yell. He doesn’t cheat. He just shuts down. Goes “quiet” for hours… days. You tell yourself it’s nothing. That he just “needs space.” But what you’re really doing — is slowly disappearing. I stayed 10 years in a dynamic like this. Smiling. Shrinking. Tiptoeing around every emot

8 likes

Leaves the room. He doesn’t yell. He doesn’t cheat. He just shuts down. Goes “quiet” for hours… days. You tell yourself it’s nothing. That he just “needs space.” But what you’re really doing — is slowly disappearing. I stayed 9 years in a dynamic like this. Smiling. Shrinking. Tiptoeing

1 like

Signs You’re Merging More of Yourself

Wholeness doesn’t always look like huge breakthroughs — sometimes it’s the subtle shifts. Peace where there was chaos. Boundaries where there was silence. That’s integration unfolding. 🌿 Which sign of merging more of you have you noticed this month? #SoulIntegration #InnerUnion #HealingJ

13 likes

5 Ways to Truly Value Yourself

This isn’t surface-level self-love. This is self-respect in action. If this hit a nerve, it’s because you’re ready to move differently. Save it. Reflect. Apply it. #HighValueWoman #DeepHealing #SelfRespect #EmotionalMaturity #InnerWork

102 likes

Stop Letting Them Hold You Back 😤🔥

Stop being the reason you doubt yourself. 🤯 Your self-worth isn’t built overnight, but it is shaped by what you tolerate, what you repeat to yourself, and what you choose to believe. 🙌🏾 Start here: • Speak to yourself with more kindness • Set boundaries without guilt • Stop needing constan

11 likes

Choosing peace over chaos: my personal journey ❤️

##PeoplePleaserRecovery #HealingJourney #InnerWork #BreakingCycles#mindsetshift

2 likes

Stop Abandoning Yourself: The Book

I’m so excited about this book. It’s my goal to help so many ppl! 😌 #self help book #selfempowment #selfabandonment #healingjourney

1 like

stop procrastinating TODAY with these 2 tips

I used to procrastinate a lot before I read this book I would procrastinate then feel an immense amount of anxiety for not crossing off my to-do list To combat procrastination, I started reviewing my calendar every day, week, month, and breaking up my to-do list into smaller tasks so my days

265 likes

This Month Is About Trusting Yourself ✨

April is about self-trust. Not blind confidence. Not pretending. Not never questioning anything. Real self-trust is quieter than that. It’s learning to believe yourself when something feels off. To honor yourself when peace matters. To move with more alignment and less second-guessing.

0 likes

Hard Truths, Soft Landings

1. You don’t heal by pretending it didn’t happen. You heal by admitting it broke you and still choosing to build anyway. 2. Some doors didn’t close on you, you finally stopped knocking. 3. Loyalty is beautiful, but if it costs you yourself, it’s not loyalty. It’s self-abandonment. 4. Not e

30 likes

I Will Not Betray Myself to Keep Others Comfortabl

You used to silence your feelings to avoid conflict. You used to shrink so others wouldn’t feel insecure. You used to say “yes” even when your soul whispered “no.” 🌿 But that version of you is gone. Your healing has shown you that abandoning yourself is a wound — and honoring yourself is the

14 likes

What It Looks Like to Fall Back in Love with Life

What does it actually look like to fall back in love with life? It’s not always loud or sudden. Sometimes, it’s soft. Quiet. Private. It begins when you stop living in survival mode and start noticing the tiny joys again, moments that don’t look like much to the world, but feel like everything t

34 likes

Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who never stop moving — carrying responsibilities, solving problems, holding everyone else together while quietly running on empty. But even the strongest souls were never meant to live in constant survival mode. Slowing down isn’t laziness. It isn’t f

0 likes

Show up for yourself in the small ways.Drink the w

Peace, discipline, and self-respect… that’s the new luxury. #SelfGrowth #HealingJourney #InnerWork #BecomingBetter

7 likes

What Turning 40 Really Feels Like

The beauty of turning 40 is that you stop waiting for approval. Not because you suddenly become confident overnight, but because you get tired of abandoning yourself. You realize how much time you spent trying to keep things together: relationships, situations, expectations, just so everythin

23 likes

Peace, Not People-Pleasing — A New Love Standard

You can be loyal. You can be committed. You can even be deeply in love… Without abandoning yourself in the process. If you’re shrinking, silencing, or suffering just to stay — that’s not loyalty. That’s self-abandonment wearing love’s mask. ✨ Healing begins the moment you say: “I can be

26 likes

Things I won’t tolerate—self abandonment

Do this now. Stop abandoning yourself. Midlife is your permission slip to show up fully, and live on your terms. #selfabandonment #midlifeempowerment #embodiment #nervoussystemregulation #selfcare

1 like

Protect your peace first

Journal Prompt: Where in my life do I keep choosing others' comfort over my own clarity? #emotionalboundaries #selfabondonmenthealing #innerwork #gwnthoughts #journalforgrowth

5 likes

Psa: self trust is non-negotiable 💚

People-pleasing is one of the fastest ways to lose self-trust. It doesn’t start as manipulation. It starts as emotional survival. You keep things smooth. You avoid conflict. You downplay your reaction so no one feels uncomfortable. But every time you override your instincts to protect s

3 likes

Stop trying to “find” yourself You don’t need to g

You don’t need to become someone new. You need to stop abandoning who you already are. Unlearning looks like this: Not explaining yourself. Not shrinking to be accepted. Not performing for approval. Ask yourself gently: Is this choice coming from truth… or from fear of being uncomfortable?

6 likes

BECOMING A SINGLE MOM OF 4 AT 25

I never pictured myself becoming a single mom to 4 kids 5 and under. I’m currently 25 and thought when I got married 5 years ago I didn’t think that would be my story. I thought my marriage would beat those odds. Almost 8 years, and 5 years of marriage gone. What I can say is, through thi

1356 likes

Women Who Feel Everything & Still Choose Wisely ✨

International Women’s Day isn’t just about what women carry… it’s about how much they’ve had to regulate, restrain, and hold for everyone else. This year, emotional discipline gets to look different: Not silencing yourself to keep the peace, but choosing your peace so you’re not at war with

0 likes

Not Everyone Deserves Access to You

When you truly own your sh*t, life starts opening in a completely different way. I’ve been through a lot in this life, and today I can honestly say I take responsibility for all of it. Nothing was an error. Nothing was a mistake. Every situation, every ending, every person had a role in teac

12 likes

See more