Social Media Scares Me
I keep seeing posts romanticizing obsession and honestly, I think we need to stop normalizing it.
Maybe some people see “obsession” as passionate, protective, intense love.
I see manipulation, fear, control, isolation, and danger.
I say that as someone who survived it.
When I was younger, violence would be followed with “I love you” and future promises designed to keep me quiet and emotionally trapped. It completely distorted my understanding of love and attachment. I started viewing myself as damaged, like my value had already been taken from me, and I tried to regain control by separating intimacy from emotional obligation.
But even then, some people still turned “fun” into ownership.
The demands for my time increased.
The need for constant attention increased.
The physical possessiveness increased.
And when I tried to leave, it became threats.
Threats to hurt themselves.
Threats to hurt me.
Threats designed to make me stay out of guilt or fear.
So when I see people say, “I want someone obsessed with me,” I think:
No. You want someone emotionally healthy enough to love you without trying to consume you.
Love should not feel like captivity.
It should not require fear to maintain it.
It should not shrink your world.
A healthy relationship allows both people to remain individuals while still building a life together. There should be trust, respect, companionship, honesty, space to breathe, and freedom to exist without constant suspicion.
And if you constantly fear someone cheating the second they are away from you, ask yourself why. Is it intuition? Unhealed trauma? Insecurity? Self-worth issues? Lack of trust? Those are things worth working on, because healthy love cannot grow properly inside constant paranoia.
People do not need obsession.
They need safety, consistency, respect, and mutual choice.
From my own experience and countless conversations with others, I've realized how common it is for people to confuse obsession with love, especially on social media where intense emotions are often glorified. However, real love should nurture your sense of self rather than diminish it. When obsession takes over, it wraps love in control and insecurity — even though those feelings can be masked as passion or care. One key aspect I’ve learned is the importance of boundaries. Healthy relationships allow space for individuality and personal growth rather than constant demands or jealousy. For example, healthy couples communicate openly about their needs without resorting to threats or guilt trips. They trust each other enough to spend time apart without suspicion. Also, working on your own emotional well-being is crucial. If you find yourself feeling anxious about your partner’s actions or doubt your self-worth, it might not be the relationship but unresolved trauma or insecurity that’s causing those feelings. Therapy, self-reflection, and support groups can really help break that cycle. In a digital age where social media amplifies the pressure to be obsessively involved in someone’s life, it’s worth remembering that love should feel freeing and safe. If a relationship makes you feel captive or afraid, it’s okay to step back and reassess what you really deserve and desire. Mutual respect, consistency, and choice—not obsession—are the foundation of lasting, joyful connections.
