February is loaded with complicated emotions for everyone. The disabled are no different in that way.
That said, there is this deep sense that we will be a burden in a romantic relationship. Even when we know logically, rationally, and realistically that isn't the case. Especially if you're a #DisabledAmerican like me, trapped in a capitalist dystopia and surviving on bread crumbs.
Oh, and despite being one of the handful of millennial women who might want to get married some day (I'm a romantic, what can I say), doing so would cost me SSI benefits when I eventually win them. The government assumes my spouse will take financial responsibility for me.
Back in September of 2021...my engagement ended in the not best outcome. I'd proposed while I was able bodied and the future looked very different. Growing up, I'd watched my father turn into a completely different husband after my Mom's accidents impacted her physical health.
So when one of my former fiancee's parting jabs was the reason I wasn't hearing from them as much as I'd like was because they were working so many hours to provide for us-
I knew it was over.
That's the sort of emotional damage you never come back from.
It still haunts me. My Wiccan Patrons insisted at my full moon reading I'm doing fine and I literally pulled The Lovers in possible futures. it just.
Seems really unlikely given my present.
#thatdisabledwitch #chronicillness #chronicpain #BlueFaeComix
Living with a disability often brings unique challenges to romantic relationships that many able-bodied people might not fully grasp. One significant hurdle is the emotional weight of feeling like a burden to a partner, even when logically that isn’t the case. This feeling is compounded by financial concerns, especially relating to government benefits like Supplemental Security Income (SSI). For many disabled individuals, marrying could jeopardize their financial stability because the government assumes their spouse will support them, which discourages some from pursuing traditional marriages. From personal experience, managing these fears requires a delicate balance of open communication, self-advocacy, and building a support system that understands both the physical and emotional aspects of disability. For example, sharing vulnerabilities with trusted friends or partners can help dispel feelings of isolation or guilt. Additionally, many in the disabled community find comfort and empowerment in spaces that embrace chronic illness and disabled identities (#DisabledAmerican, #chronicillness), fostering understanding rather than pity. The emotional scars from past relationships, especially those that ended due to changed dynamics linked to disability, can be profound and long-lasting. Healing is not linear, and it often involves reconnecting with one’s own worth beyond societal expectations or stigmas. Practices such as seeking spiritual guidance, like full moon readings or tarot cards indicating hopeful futures, can be validating and supportive, though reality might feel less encouraging at times. One also learns that self-love and patience are key. The journey toward romantic happiness is unique and may require redefining what partnership means. Disabled individuals should feel empowered to pursue relationships on their own terms, unafraid to prioritize their health, needs, and financial security. By sharing these experiences openly, it encourages a more nuanced conversation around love, disability, and the systemic challenges tied to both.
