I do not chase
The version of you they were originally attracted to would not be chasing them now.
Read the comments for what “black cat energy” actually means.
CLARITY SERIES: CALLING YOUR POWER BACK
NUMBER ONE:
WHY CHASING PEOPLE PUSHES THEM AWAY
Every Thursday going into the weekend, we’re talking about what it really means to stop abandoning yourself emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and energetically.
This series is about:
calling your energy back
healing self abandonment
breaking unhealthy emotional patterns
reconnecting to yourself
and learning how to stop losing your identity trying to hold onto people.
There’s this big conversation on TikTok right now about “black cat energy” versus “golden retriever energy.”
But most people are missing the deeper layer.
Being loving is not the problem.
Golden retriever energy — warm, loyal, enthusiastic, affectionate -is beautiful.
The problem is when loving somebody turns into self abandonment.
When you constantly chase someone…
constantly text first
constantly overexplain
constantly seek reassurance
constantly wait for them to validate you
constantly make them the center of your emotional world…
you slowly disconnect from yourself.
People can feel that shift energetically.
Not because you are weak.
Not because you are unworthy.
But because your energy starts saying:
“I need you to choose me so I can feel valuable.”
That changes the dynamic completely.
The person you’re chasing slowly starts feeling like the center of the universe while you quietly forget your own.
And the painful truth is…
the version of you they were originally attracted to probably was not chasing them at all.
They were attracted to:
your confidence
your individuality
your mystery
your passions
your humor
your energy
your full life
Your black cat energy.
That calm, self contained presence that chooses when and how it engages.
A cat does not beg for attention.
It radiates its own energy naturally.
People are drawn to people who feel connected to themselves.
But when somebody becomes your entire focus, you stop pouring energy into your own life.
You stop creating.
You stop enjoying things.
You stop listening to yourself.
That is self abandonment.
SHADOW WORK:
Ask yourself honestly:
Why do I feel responsible for keeping people interested in me?
Why do I panic when somebody pulls away?
Why do I abandon myself so quickly in relationships?
Do I actually miss this person…
or do I miss the validation they gave me?
Because sometimes the chasing is not about love.
Sometimes it is the fear of not feeling enough without somebody choosing you.
You do not have to become cold or play games.
You simply return to reaching out from a place of want, not need.
You keep your own center.
Your own identity.
Your own life.
And that is when your natural magnetism returns.
I speak what I become.
Healing is around the corner- you just have to keep walking 💜🙏🏻
Through my own journey, I've realized that the urge to chase after someone often comes from a place of fear—fear of being unworthy or not enough without their validation. This manifestation of what the article describes as self-abandonment really resonates with me. For a long time, I found myself texting first, overexplaining, and desperately seeking reassurance. While it seemed like love, it was actually a form of emotional dependence that drained my own energy and confidence. What I found transformative was shifting my mindset from needing to wanting. Instead of making others the center of my emotional world, I started focusing on cultivating my own passions and interests—my full life, as the article points out. This shift renewed my 'black cat energy,' a calm and self-contained presence that radiates naturally without any begging for attention. It's fascinating how people respond to genuine self-connection. When I stopped chasing, I noticed a change in the energy around me; relationships began to unfold more naturally. The article's point about the original version they were attracted to not being the one chasing truly hit home—it reminded me to honor my individuality, mystery, humor, and confidence, rather than trying to hold onto someone by force. Additionally, I found that asking myself honest questions—"Why do I panic when someone pulls away?" or "Am I missing the person or the validation?"—helped me uncover patterns of self-abandonment I was unaware of. This shadow work, as described, creates accountability in my healing process and restores my magnetic energy. Ultimately, the key is balance: love deeply without losing sight of yourself. You don't have to become cold or distant; instead, return to connections from a place of strength rather than need. Embracing your black cat energy means choosing when and how to engage, maintaining your identity, and walking your healing path confidently. The transformation I've experienced affirms that healing and reclaiming your power truly is just around the corner.
😭