The Observer Series: No.1
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone very different from you starts competing with you, based entirely on what they imagine you think of them? At first, you probably don’t even notice. In those ordinary, low-stakes moments, you’re simply enjoying yourself, yet suddenly, there’s tension in the air.
In psychology, the first social comparison theory was proposed by Leon Festinger, describing how people often evaluate their worth by comparing themselves. The behavior itself is neutrual needs to understand ourselves. But what happens when it becomes a competition, and creeps into small moments where it doesn’t seem necessary? Why do some people turn ordinary interactions into subtle competitions? And how does constant comparison shape how we see ourselves and others?
It’s an interesting phenomenon to witness, but confusing to experience. At the link in bio, I unpack the possible psychological factors behind these moments. (image:Ian Talmacs on Unsplash)
*Note: It’s also the pilot essay of The Observer Series. Rather than being an actor in life, I’ve always preferred to be an observer. That’s what this series is about. These are real-life footage and its many actors, recorded and edited into stories with visual effects, soundtracks, and commentary tracks.
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Social comparison is a natural part of human interaction that helps us understand ourselves better, but it can sometimes lead to confusion and tension, especially when casual moments become competitive without obvious reasons. From personal experience, I’ve noticed these subtle competitions often arise when someone feels insecure or is unconsciously measuring their value against others. This can happen in everyday settings, like social gatherings or workplace environments, where people might not even realize they're competing. Leon Festinger’s Social Comparison Theory, first introduced in the 1950s, highlights how people evaluate their own worth by comparing themselves to others. This process itself is neutral—it's a way to gain self-awareness. However, problems emerge when these comparisons skew toward envy or self-doubt, or when an individual wrestles not with others but with an internal struggle related to their identity, as shown by the concept of identity foreclosure. This happens when someone commits to a life path without exploring alternatives, and comparisons may reflect internal conflicts rather than true competition. I recall attending a party where a person’s behavior seemed competitive; later, it became clear they weren’t really competing with me but with a part of themselves linked to choices they wished they had. Understanding this perspective helped me approach social interactions with more empathy, realizing that sometimes the competition we see externally is really someone’s grief or inner turmoil. Recognizing these dynamics can improve how we relate to others and reduce unnecessary tension. It invites us to be more observant and less reactive, fostering mindfulness about why we compare and how it affects our emotions and relationships. When you next notice social comparison creeping into a light moment, remember it’s often a reflection of deeper psychological factors rather than just surface-level rivalry. Being aware of this can promote healthier connections and enrich your social experiences.