In my experience practising couples yoga and exploring intimacy with my partner, I’ve come to realize how common it is for people to feel disconnected or self-conscious during intimate moments, which is sometimes referred to as the “starfish” position. This posture often symbolizes more than just physical stillness; it reflects deeper emotions like insecurity, fear of looking awkward, or shame. One of the key breakthroughs was learning that being an active participant in intimacy doesn't always mean energetic movement—it can be subtle actions like making eye contact, using your hands to communicate affection, or verbally expressing what feels good. For example, during couples yoga, my partner and I found that maintaining eye contact helped foster a sense of presence and mutual attention, making the experience feel more connected and enjoyable. Honesty plays a critical role too. Instead of trying to appear seductive or polished, simply reacting authentically to what you’re feeling can deepen intimacy. Sharing thoughts honestly—whether about what feels good or moments of discomfort—helps partners understand each other’s needs better and build trust. I also discovered that moving your body naturally, in waves or gentle circular motions, rather than forcing specific moves, helps connect the mind and body. This natural movement opens up space for comfort and playfulness, which are essential in overcoming feelings of awkwardness or disconnection. Couples yoga isn’t just about physical poses; it’s a shared experience that highlights the importance of presence, communication, and vulnerability. It reminded us that many people have never been taught what true participation in intimacy looks like, so patience and understanding are needed. If you or your partner feel uncomfortable or disconnected, these practices—honest communication, eye contact, natural movement, and active, even subtle participation—can make a remarkable difference. Remember, it’s about connection and presence, not perfection, and embracing that can bring you closer than ever before.