Some of y'all out here treating dating like you're trying to renew a car warranty.
Calling. Texting. Following up. Sending good morning messages. Checking in. Praying. Fasting. Sending memes. Meanwhile, she responds every three business days like she's the IRS.
At some point, you have to stop chasing.
When a woman genuinely likes you, she usually makes room for you. Not because she's perfect, but because interest has a way of showing up. She'll answer your texts, make time for you, ask questions, and occasionally reach out first. You won't have to solve a mystery every time you try to have a conversation.
The Bible says, "By their fruit you shall know them" (Matthew 7:16). Notice Jesus said fruit, not promises, excuses, or potential.
Pay attention to actions.
If you're doing all the work, carrying all the conversations, making all the plans, and keeping the connection alive with CPR, that's not a relationship. That's a part-time job.
God never called you to beg for love, attention, or basic communication.
Instead of chasing somebody who isn't sure about you, focus on becoming who God called you to be. Build your faith. Improve your finances. Take care of your health. Grow emotionally. Walk in your purpose.
What's meant for you shouldn't require Olympic-level pursuit.
Now don't get me wrong. Every relationship requires effort. But effort and chasing are not the same thing. Effort is two people rowing the boat. Chasing is one person rowing while the other is dragging the anchor.
The right connection won't feel like a sales presentation where you're constantly trying to convince someone of your value.
When interest is mutual, both people participate.
Stop chasing. Start discerning.
If somebody likes you, you'll see it.
If they don't, you'll see that too.
In my own experience, I've found that the biggest pitfall in dating is mistaking effort for chasing. It’s easy to fall into the trap of relentless pursuit, especially when we really like someone, but as the article insightfully points out, genuine interest manifests through balanced effort from both sides. For example, I used to send frequent texts and initiate most plans, only to receive sparse responses that made me feel undervalued. It felt like I was the only one rowing the boat while the other person dragged an anchor. What helped me change my mindset was focusing on personal development and self-respect. Instead of seeing dating as a numbers game or a constant chase, I invested in my emotional health, career, and hobbies. This not only boosted my confidence but also made it clearer who was truly interested in me. When someone values you, they make time and show it through consistent, timely communication—not sporadic replies like the IRS analogy mentioned. Also, applying the wisdom from Matthew 7:16, "By their fruit you shall know them," really hit home. Actions are the clearest indicators of someone's feelings; promises and excuses won’t build a lasting connection. Recognizing this early on saves emotional energy and prevents burnout from one-sided relationships. Ultimately, dating should feel like a partnership where both people contribute, support, and nurture the bond. Effort in a relationship is mutual like rowing a boat together, whereas chasing feels exhausting and unrewarding. So if you’re spending more time and energy than you receive back, it's time to stop chasing and start discerning. Your worth isn’t defined by someone else’s interest level but by how well you honor yourself and your values. Remember, a healthy relationship should bring joy and growth, not frustration or constant doubt.
