6 months situationship with P-boi.

I spent 6 months in a situationship with a guy I met on Hinge.

Let’s call him P-boi.

He was my type. Perm wavy hair, tanned, tall and the kind of person I naturally find attractive. Plus humour. And somehow, I always seem to attract younger men. 😮‍💨

At the beginning, everything felt exciting. We talked, flirted and eventually became physically intimate.

We behaved like a couple…

BUT we were never actually a couple.

And looking back now, I realise I was romanticising the potential of what this could become.

Guess how many times we met in 6 months?

FOUR. 🤡

Yes. Four times.

He always said he was busy with work. Even weekends were apparently busy with work.

We mostly met on weekdays. I even took leave on weekdays just to spend time with him.

The only exception was our second date, which happened on a weekend (Valentine’s day).

JB was apparently his weekend escape every weekend-to reset and recharge.

And somehow, I was always the one adjusting my schedule to fit his.

At the beginning, I already questioned this.

I remember constantly thinking:

“Why am I always the one sharing and initiating?”

But I ignored the feeling because I liked him.

I kept hoping that eventually things would change.

They didn’t.

He would fall back into the same pattern.

Less sharing.

Less updating.

Less effort.

Colder texting.

More distance.

And eventually, I realised I was constantly trying to keep the conversation alive.

If I didn’t initiate, would we even talk?

That question alone should have been enough.

🚩 The red flags I ignored

🚩 Always “busy” but never making an alternative plan

Being busy with work is understandable.

But if someone genuinely wants to see you, they can still say:

“I’m busy this week, but how about next Saturday?”

If there is always an excuse but never an alternative, pay attention.

🚩 You are always adjusting to their schedule

Why is their time more important than yours?

A relationship — even casual dating — should have some level of mutual effort.

🚩 You constantly have to initiate

If you stop texting first, does the connection disappear?

That tells you something.

🚩 Hot and cold behaviour

One day they are interested.

The next day they are distant.

You start analysing every reply and wondering what changed.

🚩 Six months of talking but barely meeting

This one is HUGE.

Seriously…

If someone texts you constantly but only wants to meet once every month or two, would you be okay with that?

For me, now?

No.

Talking doesn’t replace actually spending time together.

🚩 No clarity about what you are

You behave like a couple.

You have physical intimacy.

You talk regularly.

But nobody wants to have the conversation about where this is going.

That is how you end up emotionally attached without actually having a relationship.

🚩 They keep parts of their life completely separate from you

For example, after talking for six months, I still didn’t have his phone number.

We communicated through Telegram and the plot twist? I was the one who disappeared first 😂 cuz I don’t want to chase anymore. After 1 month and 2 days of me ghosting, I realised he had blocked me too🤣 No display picture and the chat history all got deleted.

I also asked for his Instagram at the beginning, but he said previous girls had stalked his account and he didn’t feel comfortable giving it out.

At that time, I accepted the explanation and didn’t think too much about it.

Looking back, I should have paid more attention to how much access and openness there actually was between us.

🚩 Words don’t match actions

Someone can say they like you.

Someone can flirt with you.

Someone can make you feel like you’re special.

But ultimately…

Look at what they consistently DO.

And then I finally stopped.

After our last meetup, I already told myself:

“This is probably the last time we’re going to meet.”

The texting became colder and more distant.

I was tired of initiating.

Tired of forcing conversations so they wouldn’t die.

Tired of feeling like I had to keep the connection alive by myself.

So when his last message came, I simply didn’t continue the conversation.

I thought:

If he isn’t putting effort into talking to me, why should I care so much?

I stopped texting.

And guess what?

One month and two days passed.

No text.

Nothing.

Not even a “Hey, how are you?”

And honestly, that silence gave me my answer.

At first, I wanted to ask:

“Why did you leave me hanging?”

“What happened?”

But then I thought…

What if I asked and got a short reply?

Or worse…

What if I got no reply at all?

Sometimes you don’t need another conversation to get closure.

The silence IS the answer.

And then… plot twist. 🤡

I eventually found his Instagram.

And somehow, I ended up being blocked. I guess I appeared in his suggestions feed. That’s why he blocked me 🤡 “Block this account and other accounts they may create”.

Mind you. We didn’t even follow each other on Instagram. 😂🤣

I’m quite certain he’s back on Hinge cos I still have our old chat history. When I opened the app again, I noticed that his status signal was showing as active LOLLL.

That was another reminder for me:

He never liked me. He just want find someone to sleep with. For his convenience.

Whether he was intentionally playing me or simply didn’t want the same thing I wanted, the outcome was the same:

I was not getting the effort, consistency or respect I needed.

I felt like a convenience.

When he wanted to talk, he appeared.

When he didn’t, he disappeared.

And I kept accepting it because I liked him.

The biggest lesson I learned

Don’t start a situationship thinking:

“Maybe one day they’ll become my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

Maybe they will.

But don’t date someone’s potential.

If they are showing you inconsistent effort from the beginning, don’t convince yourself that more time will magically turn them into the partner you want.

Because sometimes six months later…

You’re still exactly where you started.

Except now you’re more emotionally attached.

And that’s why I honestly feel that a situationship can sometimes hurt even more than a breakup.

With a breakup, at least you had a relationship.

With a situationship, you can walk away carrying months of emotions, expectations, intimacy and unresolved questions, without ever actually becoming a couple.

🚩 Things I will look out for next time

Before getting emotionally invested, I will pay attention to:

• Consistency, not just chemistry

• Whether they actually make time to meet

• Whether effort is mutual

• Whether they initiate conversations too

• Whether their actions match their words

• Whether they make alternative plans when they’re busy

• Whether they are emotionally available

• Whether they communicate clearly about what they want

• Whether I feel secure or constantly anxious

• Whether I’m always the one compromising

• Whether I’m making excuses for their behaviour

• Whether the connection is actually progressing

• Whether I feel valued or simply convenient

And most importantly:

If I have to keep asking myself “Does this person actually like me?” something is probably already wrong.

Don’t ignore red flags just because someone is your type.

Don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility.

Don’t confuse attention with intention.

And please don’t stay for six months hoping someone will eventually choose you.

Choose yourself first. 🤍

If you’re currently in a situationship and you’re constantly unhappy, anxious, confused or waiting for someone to give you the bare minimum…

Please leave.

The longer you stay, the harder it becomes to detach.

I finally chose to let go.

And honestly?

I am much more worthy than this!! Love yourself 💓

If you happen to match with this guy, just be a little cautious and keep an eye out for the patterns I experienced. I’m only sharing this based on my own experience, so you can make your own judgment.

Deleted the dating apps.

Honestly, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

Nothing to lose. 🤍