Friday Therapist Corner #01
After working with children for many years, one thing I’ve realised is this:
Most parents aren’t doing too much because they’re “spoiling” their child.
They’re doing too much because they care deeply.
I meet so many loving parents who instinctively step in to zip the jacket, solve the puzzle, answer the question, or fix the problem before their child has the chance to try.
It comes from love.
But confidence isn’t built by always getting it right. It’s built in those small moments when a child struggles, thinks, tries again, and finally says, “I did it.”
As a therapist, my job is rarely to do things for a child. My job is to create opportunities where they discover they are capable.
Maybe this week, try pausing for just 10 seconds before stepping in.
You might be surprised by what your child can already do.
💛 Small moments like these often become the foundation of independence.
From my experience working with children and observing countless parent-child interactions, one thing stands out: allowing a child to experience challenges firsthand is essential for their growth. It's natural for parents—driven by love—to want to shield their children from difficulties by stepping in too quickly. However, this well-meaning behavior can sometimes limit a child's ability to learn problem-solving and self-confidence. In practice, pausing for just a few seconds before jumping in gives children the invaluable chance to think critically and try tasks independently. For example, when a child struggles to zip their jacket, resist the urge to fix it immediately. Instead, encourage them with supportive words like, "You’re doing great, keep trying!" This empowers them to build persistence and experience pride from accomplishing something on their own. Therapeutic approaches often emphasize 'safe failure'—where children can make mistakes without fear or judgment—as a key learning strategy. These moments allow children to develop resilience and understand that struggling is a natural part of mastering new skills. When children say, "I did it," after overcoming difficulty, they internalize a positive message: they are capable of solving hard things. Creating environments that foster this mindset doesn't require extensive resources. Simple everyday opportunities—from solving puzzles to packing their toys—are chances for children to practice independence. Parents can support this process by observing, offering gentle encouragement, and stepping in only when truly necessary. Ultimately, these small moments accumulate, forming the foundation of lifelong independence and confidence. If you try pausing for just ten seconds before assisting your child this week, you might be amazed at their abilities and growth. Watching a child learn, struggle, and succeed is one of the most rewarding experiences for both parents and therapists alike.