Red flags in men to run away from
Helu zesties 💗
hope yall are well~
today... i will be making a list.
Specifically the red flags from dating app men that I have observed in the past few years I have dated.
Red flags 🔴🔴❌️🆘️
- Sexual talks early on
- touching you on the first meet or overly pushy
- Wanting their partner to be overly independent
- You feel like there's no space in their life for you
- You feel the need to shrink or hide who you are
- he only talks about himself instead of getting to know you
- being nice and expecting something back in return
- says they are on there for casuals, to meet new people only - ask about their intentions
- just broke up not long ago
- says their exes are all crazy
- trauma dumps on you
- expecting you to change for them - girlies this goes for yall too, don't cling, don't expect people to change for you
- no sense of boundaries
- gives you bad vibes
- disrespectful
- jokes about your body or puts you down
- they are broke and don't know what to do with their life
- inconsistent texting - they are just not interested in you
- jealous or controlling
- breadcrumbing
- behaves like a child
- vainer than you and needs validation constantly
- no stable goals or routine
- drinks excessively, history of substance abuse
- sees vulnerabilty as weakness
- calls you too much when you show any form of emotions
- pretends to be a therapist too early on - like they can genuinely want to listen, but once you say all that and starts being distant.. its just too fast, don't talk about heavy things too early unless yall already had lots of laughter together.
- nitpicks little things about you that just doesn't make you feel good about yourself
- backhanded compliments
- his ig is all pics of himself - 0 frens
- ig with super small following that are all girls - likely a cheater
- doesnt plan for dates or make an effort to ask you out after weeks of texting - he's jus looking for a companion without wanting anything longterm, you are just a distraction placeholder. Even people that genuinely just wanna be friends would ask you out within the first few weeks!
- bad hygiene
- defensive when conflicts arises
- he say he got no friends
- places you on a pedestal
- doesnt have a life of his own
- rude to service staff or anyone tbh
- uses only cash on dates even fo big amount - either he money laundering or he cheating, both is a no
- their parents controls every part of their life
- inconsistent in general
- avoidant
young dumb me went through all that, idk how i still have hope in the male species tbh.
☆☆☆
i know we are delulu sometimes but girlies please stop putting up with all that 🤒🤒🐼
Get someone that will, pay for the first date, open doors for you, carry your things for you, and buy you flowers even if its stupid and useless CONSISTENTLY. [its possible i have been loved too okay, and my friends does all these fo me - they are fellow girlies, so why are we settling for less ? 🙂↔️]
Men we don't need all the above but we definitely want to be cherished. There's no reason to be in a relationship.. if this isn't possible.
We are giving you our souls, our nurturing energy and multiplying whatever you give to us. So if you truly don't love someone and can't cherish them... please stop using them, we are better off alone and working on ourselves until someone worth it comes along, someone that you will willingly do all that for and feel great doing things for. In return she will give you the peace and joy that true love brings too.
Aren't we all just here to be loved and cherished? I'm so done with these hmmm... fake masks and half assed efforts 🥹
When navigating the dating scene—especially through apps—it's easy to get caught up in excitement and overlook subtle warning signs. For example, jealousy and controlling tendencies can initially seem like passion, but they often spiral into unhealthy relationships. Watch out for mixed signals too; if a guy is hot and cold, showing interest one day and disappearing the next, it's usually a sign he's not truly invested. I’ve also learned the importance of boundaries. If someone dismisses your need for space or pressure you to change, that’s a huge red flag. Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and space to grow individually and together. One tricky area many don’t talk about is the influence of a partner's family or friends. If his family controls his decisions or he has no genuine friends, it might mean he lacks autonomy or support systems. Also, noticing how he treats service staff or people around him gives insight into his character—rudeness there often translates to disrespect in relationships. And sometimes the issue isn’t just about the guy, but about how we react. Getting attached too quickly or ignoring red flags because of loneliness can lead us into toxic dynamics. Taking time to understand your own feelings and keeping self-worth front and center is vital. Lastly, compliments matter—but genuine ones, not backhanded or manipulative remarks. If a guy constantly seeks validation or makes you feel small with jokes, he’s not someone to invest your emotions in. What we all deserve is someone consistent, kind, and invested in cherishing us—not just as a placeholder or for ego boosts. Dating can be messy, but recognizing these signs early saved me a lot of pain. Your intuition is powerful; listen closely and don’t settle for less than you deserve.
Ahhaha reading the list also make me realise I saw all those flags and acted like a DELULU