Melissa | Torch & Soul

764 followers

Follow

Follow

Follow

2 saved

3

1

3 ways a narcissist confuses you on purpose

Three ways a covert narcissist confuses you on purpose. 👀

One — they shift their energy without changing their words.

Everything they say sounds fine.

Everything they do feels wrong.

Two — they respond to your clarity with more confusion.

Every time you get close to the truth,

they reframe until you question what you saw.

Three — they make your reaction bigger than their behavior.

Suddenly you’re the problem.

Here’s where most empaths get stuck —

they keep trying to get clarity

from the person creating the confusion.

🔥 Free Triggered or Inconsistent Diagnostic — link in bio — 5 minutes — clear answer.

Ignite your purpose. Fuel your soul.

#narcissisticabuse #torchandsoul #covertnarcissists

#igniteyourpurpose #empath

4/29 Edited to

Navigating relationships with covert narcissists can be incredibly challenging because their manipulative tactics are often subtle and confusing. In my experience, one of the most frustrating aspects is how they maintain a facade of normalcy with their words while their behavior contradicts everything they say. For example, they might assure you of something but then act in a way that makes you doubt your own perception. Another deception tactic I encountered is their tendency to reframe situations every time you seek clarity. When you start piecing together the truth, they twist the narrative so cleverly that you end up second-guessing what you originally saw or felt. It feels like chasing a mirage, where every answer leads to more questions. Finally, many empaths, including myself, get caught in the trap where the narcissist makes your emotional response appear disproportionate compared to their actions. Suddenly, you’re portrayed as overly sensitive or irrational, which diverts attention from their manipulative behavior and undermines your confidence. Recognizing these tactics is the first step toward protecting your mental and emotional health. I found that setting strong boundaries and seeking support from trusted friends or professionals helps break the cycle of confusion. Additionally, tools like the "Triggered or Inconsistent Diagnostic" mentioned in this article can offer quick clarity on whether a relationship is toxic. For anyone dealing with covert narcissists, remember that your feelings and perceptions are valid. It’s okay to step back and prioritize your well-being over trying to get consistent answers from someone who intentionally clouds the truth.

1 comment

Melissa | Torch & SoulCreator

If this made you pause—you already know something’s off. Take the free ‘Triggered or Inconsistent’ diagnostic in my bio and get a clear answer in 5 minutes. Stop guessing

Related posts

Breaking up with a narcissist

10 things that happen after a narcissist relationship. Do any of these resonate with you? #narcissist #narcissistrecovery #survivingnarcissism #relatable

57 likes

Don’t use this method if this confuses you!!

ABG’s may feel overwhelming but you got this! #nursingschool #nurse #abginterpretation #medical

32 likes

3 ways a narcissist uses silence to control you

Silence in narcissistic dynamics is rarely just silence. It becomes punishment. Leverage. Control. A way to create anxiety without ever raising their voice. That’s why so many empaths end up chasing reconnection instead of questioning why the silence keeps happening in the first place.

1 like

3 ways narcissist make u think you're a soulmate

Narcissists don’t “connect fast.” They mirror fast. They match fast. They make you feel chosen fast. And then they withdraw it just as quickly. That’s not soulmate energy. That’s strategy. The confusion you feel afterward isn’t weakness — it’s the exact effect the pattern cr

2 likes

signs a narcissist turned people against you

Signs a narcissist has turned people against you — and you didn't see it happening. 👀 People who used to be neutral now seem cold toward you. You find out stories about you are circulating that aren't true. Mutual friends seem to know things you never told them. You feel isolated

21 likes

3 ways narcissist s make you think you're the problem

You weren't the problem. The problem was that every reaction got examined while the behavior that caused it got ignored. When someone constantly reframes your responses as the issue, tells the story starting at your reaction instead of what happened before it, and uses their calm next to

1 like

3 ways narcissist try to reset the relationship

They don’t get sweeter because they’ve changed They get sweeter because they feel you pulling away. The reset isn’t reconciliation. It’s regulation. Yours, not theirs. If you’re stuck wondering whether it’s effort or emotional inconsistency, the free Triggered or Inconsistent

1 like

Signs you're dealing with a covert narcissist

Signs you're dealing with a covert narcissist — not just someone who's emotionally unavailable. 👀 They never rage. They withdraw. They don't criticize directly. They make you feel like you're always asking for too much. They play the victim every time you address a probl

1 like

3 ways narcissist keep you stuck

Three ways covert narcissists keep empaths stuck in the same loop. 👀 One — they give you just enough to justify staying. Not enough to feel secure. Not enough to feel satisfied. Two — they make leaving feel selfish through manufactured need. Three — they reset the cycle right when you’ve

1 like

The voice the narcissist built in you

Covert narcissists don’t just break your trust — they break your ability to trust yourself. And that’s the wound most empaths never see coming. Because it doesn’t show up as chaos. It shows up as confusion. As hesitation. As questioning your own reality. That quiet voice that asks

0 likes

Narcissist awareness day

#narcissist #awareness #dayinthelife

29 likes

3 signs a narcissist is jealous of you, not love

Jealousy doesn’t look like love — it looks like competition. When someone downplays your strengths, gets irritated when you shine, or treats your accomplishments like a threat… that’s not affection. That’s insecurity disguised as connection. If you’re unsure whether it’s love

2 likes

a narcissist doesn't miss you

When a narcissist comes back — it's not because they miss you. Here's what it actually is. 👀 It's because something they were getting from somewhere else stopped working. You became available supply again. The timing is never random. It's always when you're moving on

3 likes

3 signs u were in a covert narcissist relationship

The hardest relationships to leave are often the ones you can't clearly explain. There wasn't always a screaming match. There wasn't always a dramatic event. There wasn't always one moment you could point to and say, "That's why I left." Instead, it was a thousan

25 likes

ever been discarded by a narcissist

If you've ever been discarded by a narcissist and couldn't figure out what you did wrong — read this. 👀 You didn't do anything wrong. You stopped being what they needed you to be. You started having needs. Having limits. Paying attention to the pattern. For a narcissist — a

3 likes

3 Ways Narcissists Rewrite Reality 👀

Three ways narcissists rewrite history to make you question what actually happened. 👀 One — they change details. Just enough until your memory feels less reliable than theirs. Two — they introduce “witnesses” who somehow support their narrative. Three — they use your emotional reaction as

6 likes

Narcissists confuse you on purpose

#narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #clarityoverchaos #healingtrauma #emotionalexhaustion

15 likes

3 ways narcissist hide abuse inside concern

One of the hardest forms of covert manipulation to recognize is when control gets wrapped in concern. Because it doesn’t sound aggressive. It sounds caring. “I’m just worried about you.” “I only want what’s best for you.” “I’m concerned about the choices you’re making.” And slowly the focu

1 like

When a narcissist calls you crazy. Pay attention.

When a narcissist calls you “crazy,” they’re not describing you — they’re describing the chaos they can’t regulate inside themselves. They feel unstable, so they label you unstable. They feel out of control, so they say you’re out of control. They feel threatened, so they call you dramatic

1 like

3 signs a narcissist is keeping you confused

Confusion isn’t accidental — it’s engineered. When someone keeps changing the story, twisting your words, or acting offended when you ask for clarity, you start doubting yourself instead of the pattern. If you’re stuck between “am I triggered?” and “is this actually inconsistent?” the f

5 likes

3 signs a narcissist is pretending to heal

Some people don’t “heal”… they perform healing. They use therapy language as a shield. They mirror your growth without doing their own. They only show “progress” when they feel you pulling away. That’s not transformation — that’s manipulation dressed up as self‑work. If you’re

1 like

Silence is when the narcissist circus lights go ou

Your silence is the moment the narcissist's circus lights go out. When you go silent — the narcissist doesn't lose you. They lose the shield you provided. 👀 Your presence kept their flaws hidden. Your empathy softened their edges. Your explanations covered their contradictions.

28 likes

3 signs a narcissist was sent as a teacher

Not everyone who activates you is hurting you. Some are here to reveal what's still unhealed. 💜 They activate you in ways no one else does — not to break you, but to reveal what's still unhealed. They bring up wounds you thought you'd already outgrown — because your soul is re

2 likes

Narcissistic abuse doesn’t always scream

🌳 Understanding Narcissistic Abuse Narcissistic abuse doesn’t always scream. Sometimes, it whispers. It gaslights. It charms. It confuses. And it manipulates from the roots up. This Narcissistic Abuse Tree breaks it down—so you can finally see what’s been hidden beneath the surface. ⸻ 🌿 B

83 likes

Rooms rearrange themselves in the narcissist house

In the narcissist’s haunted house — the rooms rearrange themselves when you’re not looking. 👀 A conversation that felt resolved becomes unresolved by morning. A version of them that felt warm becomes cold by evening with no explanation. A dynamic that felt stable shifts without warning… an

41 likes

5 things a narcissist does when you don't ask permission

One of the clearest signs that something isn't healthy is how someone responds when you think independently. Not when you ask for advice. Not when you need help. When you simply bring an idea to the table as an equal. Healthy people may agree with it. Disagree with it. Build on it.

1 like

narcissist exhaust you instead of resolving

One of the clearest signs you’re dealing with covert emotional manipulation is when every important conversation leaves you more exhausted than resolved. You explain. They redirect. You clarify. They distort. You address the issue. They change the subject. And eventually your nervous

1 like

3 Responses That Disarm a Covert Narcissist 👀

One of the biggest mistakes empaths make with covert narcissists is thinking they can explain themselves clearly enough to finally be understood. But covert narcissists don’t twist the narrative because they’re confused. They twist it to regain control. That’s why defending yourself usuall

2 likes

A handwritten note titled 'The 5 D's of Satan' lists Doubt, Discouragement, Diversion, Defeat, and Delay, explaining how each is a plan against individuals. It contrasts God's voice (stills, leads, comforts) with Satan's voice (rushes, frightens, condemns), concluding that God's timing is perfect and His plans are good.

✨ The 5 D’s of Satan ✨

Satan doesn’t always attack in obvious ways. Many times, he creeps in quietly, through the mind, through feelings, and through distractions. That’s why we have to stay alert and rooted in God’s truth. The enemy’s plan often shows up as the “5 D’s”: • Doubt – making you question God’s w

570 likes

learning to trust after narcissist

The hardest part isn’t leaving. It’s learning to trust yourself again after. That doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen. Drop a 🔥 if you're learning to trust yourself again. 👉 If you’re in that stage… you’re not behind Ignite your purpose. Fuel your soul. #narcissistreco

4 likes

malignant narcissist's true motivation

#narcknowledge #narcabuse #narcabusehealing #fucknarcissist #narctok @andrea35reiss

6 likes

Use Your Pain Into Purpose

My Testimony After leaving a narcissistic relationship I dealt with fear and anxiety. After proper healing and deliverance, I was able to overcome PTSD. This led me to write my book called Defeating Jezebel “Overcoming Fear & Anxiety” This book will 1. Give you the necessary tools on how

2 likes

Frankly if a man truly wants you ….

It needs to be said. What's sad these days is that most women will go their entire lifetime and never experience the meaning of actual true love. We unfortunately live in a generation with men who have no idea what it takes to be a real man. A real man asks about your day and genuin

103 likes

3 ways narcissists trauma-bond empaths emotionally

Most empaths don’t stay because the love was deeper. They stay because the nervous system became conditioned to survive inconsistency. The withdrawal.The sudden affection.The emotional whiplash.The relief after pain. That cycle changes the way the body responds to connection. And eventu

2 likes

let's talk about comments on narcissist videos

There’s a reason certain people only show up on the narcissist content. Not the healing. Not the clarity. Not the accountability. Just the videos that expose the patterns they don’t want to face. Avoidance looks a lot like humor when someone feels seen. Patterns don’t lie. People

2 likes

2 narcissist relationships taught me this

Two narcissistic relationships will make you question everything about yourself — your reactions, your patterns, your past, your anxiety, your attachment style. But the truth is: you weren’t the problem. You were responding to a pattern you didn’t have language for yet. If you’re sti

2 likes

the hardest narcissist to leave

The hardest narcissist to leave is the one who never did anything you could clearly name. 🔥 No obvious abuse. No clear incidents. Just a constant low grade confusion. A feeling that something was wrong but nothing you could point to. So you blamed yourself. Your sensitivity. Your past.

1 like

3 Online Red Flags of a Covert Narcissist 👀

One of the biggest mistakes people make with covert narcissists is thinking their online behavior is random. It’s not. The selective attention. The vague victim posts. The refusal to publicly acknowledge the relationship while privately expecting full emotional access from you. Those pat

5 likes

A narcissist is terrified of your silence

A narcissist isn’t scared of your anger. They’re terrified of your silence. 👀 Anger means you’re still engaged. Still reacting. Still performing. Still in the circus. But your silence? Your silence is the end of the show. Silence means: You’re no longer entertaining the c

2 likes

Narcissist don't get jealous. They get territorial

When a narcissist gets jealous, it’s never about love — it’s about losing access. Territorial behavior is one of the clearest signs you were never being protected… you were being managed. If their “concern” always came with accusations, if their insecurity always became your gu

2 likes

See more