Am I over reacting?
Would you be mad, or am I overreacting?
I’ve been best friends with this girl for almost 6 years, and lately I feel like our friendship has become really one-sided.
She always tells me I’m her best friend and even says I’m her only best friend, but honestly… she doesn’t act like it.
I tell her a lot of personal things about school and my life because I trust her, but half the time she barely listens. Sometimes she’ll be on her phone while I’m talking, change the subject, or just tell me I’m being dramatic. She even calls me a “pick me,” and it makes me feel like she’s judging me instead of actually hearing me out.
One thing that really bothered me was when I told her about a girl at school that I don’t like because of how she treated me. Instead of listening, she immediately said I was overreacting and started saying she liked the girl… even though she barely knows her.
But then when her newer friend (who she’s only known for about a year) said she didn’t like another girl, my best friend instantly agreed with her and started acting like she didn’t like that girl either. That made me realize she seems to care more about her newer friend’s opinions than mine.
She’s also gotten really close to this newer friend and constantly leaves me out. I found out who her crush was because I overheard her telling the newer friend. She never told me herself, even though we’ve been friends for years.
And what hurts the most is that she forgets my birthday almost every year. I always remember hers, text her at midnight, get her a gift, and make sure she feels special. Meanwhile, she either forgets mine completely or remembers days later and acts like it’s no big deal.
Now whenever I’m around her, I feel like I’m being judged every time I talk. I don’t feel comfortable telling her things anymore, and I honestly feel more like a backup friend than a best friend.
So… would you be mad, or am I overreacting? Be honest. 👀👇
Navigating long-term friendships can be challenging, especially when the dynamics start to shift over time. I’ve personally experienced situations where a friend, once close and attentive, begins to act distant or prioritize new friends over me. This shift can feel painful and confusing, leading to questions like "Am I overreacting?" which really reflects how deeply we value these bonds. In my journey, I’ve found it important to honestly evaluate the signs in the friendship. For example, when your confidences are dismissed or you feel judged instead of supported, it’s a clear indicator something might be off. Being called names like "pick me" or having your feelings minimized can erode trust and comfort, which are cornerstones of any best-friend relationship. It also hurts when your friend shares intimate details with someone new but excludes you, especially after years of closeness. This can leave you feeling like a backup friend rather than the cherished best friend you once were. Birthdays are an emotional litmus test too—constantly forgetting important dates while you prioritize theirs shows a lack of reciprocal care. From experience, open communication helps but sometimes the other person may not realize the impact of their actions. I’ve tried sharing my feelings calmly and honestly, which sometimes leads to a reset in the friendship. However, if the pattern continues, it’s healthy to consider setting boundaries and focusing on friendships where mutual respect and attention are present. Ultimately, feeling hurt in such a friendship is valid, and it’s not overreacting when your emotional needs are overlooked. It’s a reminder to prioritize your well-being and seek connections that uplift and value you equally.