Call it what it really is….an awakening….
Perimenopause didn’t change me. It removed the filter I was never meant to keep forever.
And I believe that filter had a purpose.
In our 20s and 30s, we are building.
We’re building marriages. Raising babies. Running on little sleep.
Going to afterschool activities, cleaning kitchens, planning birthday parties, working jobs, managing schedules, and trying to keep everyone healthy and grounded.
That season requires flexibility. It requires letting little things go. It requires choosing peace over being right more times than we can count.
I learned in those years that I had to take care of myself. I learned that going to the gym made me a better mom. I learned that filling my cup mattered.
But even with that growth, there was still a filter. A quiet one.
The one that said…..
“Just let it go.”
“It’s not worth the fight.”
“I’ll handle it.”
“I can carry this.”
And honestly? That filter helped in that season. You can’t question every imbalance when you’re raising toddlers. You can’t confront every frustration when you’re trying to keep a home steady. You can’t constantly prioritize yourself when little humans depend on you.
That filter made it possible to build. But filters aren’t permanent.
Then perimenopause comes. Hormones shift. Tolerance shifts. Energy shifts. And suddenly the filter doesn’t work the same way.
The things you used to swallow? You speak.
The things you used to absorb? You question.
The things you used to carry quietly? You set down.
And people notice….
“She’s changed.”
“She’s harder.””
“She’s selfish.””
“She’s going through something.”
Yes. She is going through something. She’s done disappearing. She’s done cushioning everyone else’s comfort at the expense of her own clarity.
That’s not arrogance. That’s alignment.
Perimenopause isn’t turning women into something worse.
It’s bringing forward the part of us that no longer needs permission.
This isn’t a midlife crisis.
It’s a midlife awakening.
The filter was necessary. But it was never meant to last forever.
And the woman emerging on the other side?
She isn’t broken. She’s finally unfiltered.
And I’m not apologizing for it and I hope you don’t either!!!
Having gone through perimenopause myself, I can say it truly feels like an awakening rather than just a biological change. For years, I carried the weight of others' expectations, suppressing my desires to keep peace and hold the family together—just like the article describes. But as hormone changes began affecting my mood and energy, those old filters started to fade. I found myself speaking up more honestly about what I felt and needed, which was both liberating and confusing for those around me. This unfiltered self means learning to set boundaries without guilt, something I never knew how to do before. At first, I worried people would see me as selfish or difficult, but embracing this phase made me realize that honoring my clarity enhances my relationships rather than harming them. This personal growth aligns with the idea that perimenopause is not a midlife crisis but a transformational phase where self-alignment replaces self-sacrifice. I also noticed my priorities shifting: activities that once seemed essential now feel less important, and I focus more on what fills my cup rather than what drains it. It's a season of rebalancing energy and affirming self-worth. For any woman in this transition, it's helpful to connect with others experiencing similar shifts and to seek out supportive resources that validate this change as natural and empowering. In essence, perimenopause invites us to drop the filters that were necessary during earlier life stages but no longer serve us. The woman who emerges on the other side is unfiltered, clear, and unapologetically herself—a truly powerful midlife awakening.
❤️ it! This is definitely me now.