Culture is not something we should take for granted.

In my recent social media spring cleaning where I deleted all of my previous interactions across social media accounts, I saw many of my past comments left on various posts. Some of them were made in a casual way, though the message behind them usually was not. Expectedly, they may not sound as professional as I would like them to be, especially when I revisit them in a different state of mind. It is not so much that I regret them or that I can no longer stand behind these words, but rather that they made me consider the kind of exposure that I am creating for myself, especially when I am currently in the public service, where the risk of having what I share online being taken out of context later increases over time. In fact, it may already be exposing me to some form of risk even now. Most senior people do not bother themselves with such matters, at least that’s my impression of how things are.

Within my career working with different people and in my personal capacity, I have experienced being advised on my social media interactions or blog posts, sometimes by colleagues, sometimes by friends and relatives. One of the episodes that came to mind was when I was told that I should not have commented on a political figure’s social media post. To share more about the context, it was (in my humble opinion) an insensitive post made at a time when people were experiencing hardship to score a political point. In my view, the point could have been made without being insensitive, and I reminded that particular individual to exercise better judgment in a respectful and polite manner. I have somewhat of a good impression of that individual, not so much as a supporter, but nonetheless find his courage and willingness to step forward remarkable. I often find political leaders from various camps to have admirable qualities, even as I may not fully align with them and their beliefs. To me, my intervention had nothing to do with politics but everything to do with decency and empathy.

Eventually, the individual replied and clarified his position, and I thought it was the end of the matter; a rather good closure, if you ask me, considering how disagreement on the internet can sometimes turn out. However, months later, I was gently reminded not to be politically involved or seen to be politically involved. Yet, as I have mentioned, this had nothing to do with politics to me. If today I were to see a politician verbally abusing someone, should I then refrain from commenting or involving myself just because they are a political figure and I should preserve the image of being politically neutral? I think the answer is obvious. I agree that in certain contexts, such as when we are public servants, we should always be politically neutral. This is something that I have always kept at the top of my mind whenever I work in the public sector. However, that should not stop us from speaking up on non-political matters. It is a fine line indeed.

It is moments like these that make me question whether I should be more silent and reserved. As the Chinese saying goes—pigs are afraid of being fat and people are afraid of being famous. After all, it seems like there is all risk and no reward. Yet, months after I abstained from commenting on social media, I came to the conclusion that if we ourselves are not willing to step forward and defend our values, soon enough, we will find that our culture will start to shift in a direction which we may not agree with.

To me, speaking up is more than just expressing my views. It is also about steering society through a civil but slow process. And considering how social media culture has now evolved over the years, I find that it may be even more crucial now for us boring people to continue to write long posts like this, which may not be very popular but nonetheless attempt to bring forth something of value.

Over the years, I have received occasional texts about how my writing has made a difference. It is encouraging, but it is also a very lonely journey. Most of what I write does not receive as much affirmation as I would like it to, and it can be very discouraging. I know how to make things viral, and I have demonstrated that capability several times. As I removed all of my previous social media posts, I saw several posts that went viral in the past, and I didn’t hesitate long before deleting them. One of the earliest posts I made that went viral was in fact, probably about fifteen years ago, advocating for mutual respect between cyclists and motorists. And while it may seem like a badge of honour, these viral ones are not necessarily always the ones I deem to hold more substance. As a seasoned internet user, I know that by writing in a certain manner, you invoke emotions and relevance, and that increases the odds of reactions. But I increasingly refuse to write in such a manner in order to drive popularity and leverage the algorithm.

Culture is not something that we should take for granted. And unfortunately, someone has to be willing to step forward to shape it. If left to develop on its own course, it may turn out well. But on the flip side, it may deteriorate to a level that is too hard to cure because a precedent has been set. Just as it was largely the culture then to be corrupt, Singapore’s founding leaders took a position that was hard and against the norm in order to produce the Singapore we know today—highly efficient, clean and with zero tolerance for corruption.

A recent point of reflection was ignited in a newly formed group chat. There were frequent questions asked in the group. Knowing that some of the people within are from overseas, I tried to be helpful and answer their queries as a local, even though I am not on the administrative team. The first time I did that, I received no acknowledgment. Not even a thumbs-up. Then the second time, the same thing happened as well. Finally, the third time, someone said thank you. I took the opportunity to thank the person for the politeness and pointed out that it was the first acknowledgment I had received. I am sure someone would have taken notice of that statement, and there may be some negative repercussions because it can be seen as being passive-aggressive. It might not be the wisest thing to do when I am about to work closely with this group of people. While it was not my intent to offend anyone, it was certainly an attempt at nudging the culture towards where I think it should be. I wish I could have done it in an even more graceful way, much like how I often wish I could have been gentler when getting people to comply with certain requirements. It is something that I am still learning. But if I have to choose between nudging culture in an ungraceful and unpalatable manner, as compared to not nudging culture and preserving a favourable and popular image of myself, I would lean towards the former. Culture, to me, is what makes a society worth living in.

Many of us wait for others to do something, to be the changemakers, to be the influencers. But like what was often attributed to Gandhi: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” And here’s another one of my attempts at shaping culture.

Finally, I would like to share something that someone shared with me about how he led coaching sessions with companies—silence is disagreement. I thought this shifted our paradigm from the usual “silence is consent” mentality and allowed us to really propel ourselves to share what we think. So, what do YOU think?