I feel like I’ve wasted my 20s..

Maybe I feel this way because I’m nearing 30, or maybe it’s my period, or the fact that my 10-Year High School Reunion is near, or even just seasonal depression.

Whatever the case is, I always have had this phase of feeling stuck—especially career wise.

I feel like my peers had a plan for their lives…

I see some have gone to college, graduated, got their adult jobs, married, home, kids, nice car, traveling, etc.

And here I am 10 years later still figuring my crap out!

I can’t make up my mind…currently I am a Teacher Assistant for 7th Grade Science, which it’s pretty okay.

I’m not overwhelmed as I was at my old job (Preschool Teacher), plus I get a school’s schedule…downside—the pay—I literally only work to pay my bills.

It’s so overwhelming.

But what’s even more frustrating is that I don’t know exactly what I want to pursue for my career…I’m so intrigued with many things, to where I don’t know how to settle on one thing.

I have thoughts about going back to school to become a Certified Teacher, however, that takes 4 years…do I have 4 years in me to live paycheck to paycheck? No. I don’t even want to do that for 4 weeks!

I also think about pursuing Flight Attendant, but the company I prefer is harder to get in than I expected…I’ve applied 3 times already. I don’t know if it’s my lack of interviewing skills or it just being something I shouldn’t pursue.

Then there’s Content Creation, something that started off as a way for me to express myself and inspire people I didn’t know in real life. It has been my safe space for so long, a place where I can come and truly be my creative self. It’ll be 10 years this month, since my first makeup tutorial on YouTube. I’ve came such a long way with my editing and the overall quality of my content—but I just can’t seem to make something out of my platforms. I get a lot of gifted collabs but none of them has turned into paid collaborations. And I know my content is WORTH it…it’s a passion for me, so I take a lot of time editing things and it’s honestly comes so naturally to me. I just love making sure every detail is on point!

And lastly, my own business…which I’ve gotten the LLC for and everything during the pandemic—planned to launch in 2021—but honestly I chickened out because I didn’t want to spend all of my savings and not be able to make the $ back to take care of my family.

Having my own business is an ultimate goal for me,

it’s where I feel I will have the most freedom and I would truly love learning about the ins and outs of my business. But you have to have $ to spend $ to make $.

Which is so UGHHHH!

Then there’s other times when I have interest in jobs or careers I come encounter with…what intrigued me recently was a ‘Wedding Content Creator’ ‘Leasing Agent’ and ‘Realtor’.

🙂

I think my problem is…

I want to do everything but is that even possible?

#Lemon8Diary #shareyourthoughts #embracevulnerability