8 lessons we have learned being married 23 years 🫶

After 23 amazing years side-by-side, my partner and I have learned so much about what truly makes a marriage thrive. It's not always easy, but these lessons have been our anchors through thick and thin, helping us navigate everything from everyday challenges to deeper 'intimacy issues' that can sometimes creep in. Here are some thoughts on those key takeaways: 1. Make love often! This isn't just about physical intimacy; it's about staying connected on every level. Life gets busy, and it's easy to let closeness slide. We learned that intentionally prioritizing this, even when we're tired, is vital. It’s a powerful way to reduce stress, feel cherished, and remind yourselves you're still a team. It’s about more than sex; it’s about touching, hugging, playful banter – keeping that spark alive and nurturing your bond. 2. Talk about EVERYTHING! Seriously, no topic is off-limits. We've found that holding things in, especially frustrations or worries, can slowly erode trust and create distance. Creating a safe space where both of us feel heard and understood, without judgment, is crucial. This open communication is especially important when discussing sensitive topics like desires or concerns about intimacy; it allows us to tackle issues together instead of letting them fester. 3. Pray together daily. For us, sharing our spiritual journey has been a profound way to bond. It fosters a sense of shared purpose and provides comfort during tough times. Even if prayer isn't your path, finding a shared ritual that brings you closer – like daily walks, morning coffee chats, or reflecting on your day – can create that same deep connection and sense of unity. 4. Put your marriage first before your kids. This might sound counterintuitive to some, but we truly believe it's one of the best things you can do for your family. A strong, loving partnership between parents creates a secure and happy home environment. Our kids thrive when they see us happy and connected. It means dedicating time to each other, even if it's just a quiet evening after they're asleep, to make sure our foundation remains solid. 5. Never stop dating each other. Remember those early days? The excitement of planning a date, getting dressed up, having uninterrupted conversation? We make a conscious effort to keep that going. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. A simple picnic, a movie night at home with no distractions, or even just trying a new restaurant together can rekindle that romantic spark and remind you why you fell in love. It helps us escape the routine and reconnect as partners, not just co-parents or housemates. 6. Forgive quickly and genuinely. Resentment is a silent killer in relationships. We've learned that holding onto grudges only hurts us both. It's not about forgetting or excusing bad behavior, but about choosing to let go of the anger and move forward. This often requires honest conversations, acknowledging feelings, and a willingness to apologize sincerely. It clears the air and prevents small issues from becoming big 'intimacy issues' that block connection. 7. Support each other's dreams. Being each other's biggest cheerleaders is incredibly empowering. Whether it's a career goal, a personal hobby, or a new challenge, knowing your partner has your back makes all the difference. We actively listen to each other's aspirations and find ways to support them, even if it means making small sacrifices. This mutual encouragement strengthens our bond and ensures we're growing together, not apart. 8. Cultivate individual interests. While togetherness is vital, maintaining your individual identity is equally important. Having separate hobbies, friends, or passions means you bring fresh energy and experiences back into the relationship. It gives you something new to talk about and prevents either of you from feeling stifled. It's about finding that healthy balance between 'us' and 'me' within the 'we'.