Ok so it’s kinda obvious when it’s “day 3 or 4” at our house 😂 IF you know what we mean.
There’s a little more touching, ok a lot more, more romancing, more compliments… someone’s in the mood 😉
We laugh because it doesn’t bother, and I’m not really a physical touch love language so I don’t need it often, like Nick does…
But… it does bother a lot of spouses when the emotional intimacy gets ramped up for one reason… one spouse wants to make love.
So many wives have complained that as soon as their husband wants to be intimate, he’s all touchy feely.. but after, like “day one” we call it, the affection is low.
In a healthy loving marriage, non sexual touch, and physical affection needs to be constant. If it isn’t, touch and affection start to feel like a transaction. Nobody wants to feel like intimacy is a constant transaction. Sometimes it’s ok, but not constantly.
Husbands, work on giving the same amount of physical touch and affection every day, not just days that you want to be intimate. Every marriage looks different in this area, but conversations about this are so important!
Ask your spouse tonight, “do I show you love and affection more on intimate days, or do you feel like it is constant in our marriage? How can we do better at this?”
Intimacy thrives when both spouses are feeling constantly loved, appreciated, and speaking love languages is a priority. Do you agree?
What does this look like in your marriage?
From my own experience in marriage, I've noticed how crucial it is to maintain consistent physical affection, not just around moments of intimacy. The difference between "day one" when affection peaks and the following days where it tapers off can create unspoken tension. Physical touch is a powerful language of love for many, and when it feels conditional, it can hurt deeply. One thing that helped in our relationship was intentionally scheduling small moments of non-sexual touching — a hug while passing by, holding hands during a walk, or gentle back rubs after a long day. These simple acts reassured my spouse that love wasn’t just about moments leading to intimacy but was steady and genuine. Communication played a big role; asking questions like "Do you feel loved throughout the week or only when we're intimate?" opened lines of honest dialogue. It helped us recognize each other’s love languages better, enabling us both to feel nurtured and appreciated. Addressing physical affection as an ongoing priority rather than a transactional element transformed the emotional climate of our marriage. It’s a reminder that intimacy thrives when affection is constant, not conditional, building a deeper sense of trust and connection every day.