🌟 Episode 13 / 222: "Emotional Regulation," Mr. Above Mood...Train your brain to be calm on a distracted day. 🌊

"We can't stop the storm surge from happening...But we can firmly learn how to surf. Emotional directing is not suppression, but knowledging and managing it wisely. "🏄‍♂️✨

In part 13, we will delve into the Emotional Regulation, or the ability to deal with strong emotions.

If we can't manage our emotions, we will accidentally use "pursue" or "run away" behavior to manage that stress.

🔬 Delving into Psychology: The Window of Patience 🧠

Psychologist Dr. Dan Siegel presented the concept of the "Window of Tolerance" (Window of Tolerance) to explain our emotional states:

• 🚩 Hyper-arousal (high alertness): The emotional part of the brain works too hard to make us angry, worried, or want to control (much found in the Anxious line)

• 🚩 Hypo-arousal (low alertness): Shutdown brain, making us passive, cold, or insensitive (very common in the Avoidant line)

• 🚩 Window of Tolerance: This is the middle area where we can sense feelings. The prefrontal cortex is still active. Emotional training is to try to pull yourself back into this window.

🎨 3 Emotional Administration Techniques to Maintain Love (The Regulation Toolkit) 🎨

1.Name It to Tame It (Call the name to horror): When there is a strong emotion, name the emotion aloud, such as "I am lonely now" or "I am angry now." Research has shown that calling the name of the emotion reduces the activity of the Amygdala part of the brain immediately.

2.The 4-7-8 Breathing: Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold back for 7 seconds, and relax through the mouth for 8 seconds. Relaxing the long breath will signal the Parasympathetic nervous system to reduce palpitations and shaking hands.

3. Self-Soothing Narrative (Reason Soothing): Practice talking to yourself like talking to a dear friend. Like, "It's okay to feel this way, but it doesn't mean he's really leaving us. It'll pass."

📍 Scenario: "Seeing a boyfriend talking to someone else is heartbreaking." 📱⚡

• Dysregulated: You walk into a rant or take his phone and see it immediately (Hyper-arousal) - > The result is a breakdown of trust.

• Regulated: You feel the chest, you take a deep breath 4-7-8 and tell yourself, "This is the paranoia of the past. Calm down."

When the mood calms down, you walk in and ask in a normal tone, "Who are you talking to? You see a big smile." - > As a result, the relationship remains warm and open.

🚀 Key Takeaways: Temperament is a compass, not a boss. ✍️

✅ Feelings are Data, Not Directives: Emotions are "data" that say what we want, but not "commands" that we must always follow.

✅ Pause Before You Pivot: The golden rule is to "stop" (Pause) before always interacting. A pause of just 5 seconds may sustain a relationship for years.

✅ Consistency is Key: Emotional training is like exercise. The brain takes time to build calm muscles.

"He who controls his emotions...He is the one who holds the ultimate power in relationships and the one who makes the best safe space for his lover. "🧘‍♂️❤️

Timne's heart.

Go 🙂✌🏾

# EmotionalRegulation # Emotional management # WindowOfTolerance# Timjaisamut