Trauma responses 101

Everyone knows about fight or flight, but did you know there's so many other responses to trauma that you can learn to identify in not only yourself, but those around you?

✨ People Pleasing (appeasement)

When someone is in the trauma state of appeasement, they might communicate agreement but internally disagree. Appeasement can prevent us from speaking up for what we believe in, voicing concerns, and asking for help.

The appease trauma response arises when someone has a past experience where taking care of others ensured self-preservation.

✨ Getting defensive

When we think of the fight survival response, we probably imagine someone who's ready to get in a physical fight. However, our fight response often reveals itself as defensiveness. During disagreements, a person may struggle to listen to what has been said or raise their voice.

These so-called personality traits may actually be trauma responses.

✨ Walking away

Flight is another common trauma response that we might associate with drastic behavior. Often, our flight response triggers feelings of anxiety or fear.

For some, a flight response can feel like a strong desire to leave the situation. That desire can translate into walking away from a conversation or interaction.

✨ Shutting down

When someone freezes as a trauma response, they often struggle to think. Their mind may go completely blank, and they won’t know what to say.

This situation can be frustrating for both parties. The person on the other side of this trauma response might feel like they’re talking to a wall. They might assume that the other person is indifferent to the topic or feel pushed aside.

But it can also be challenging for the person who’s struggling to think and speak. As they’re shutting down, they might feel confused or angry that their words and thoughts are not coming to them.

✨ Emotional numbness

While some people may experience trauma brain as an absence of thoughts or words, others can experience an absence of emotions. Emotional numbness, low emotional intelligence, and a lack of emotional awareness can all come from traumatic experiences where embracing emotions could be unsafe.

✨Disassociation

Dissociation is a trauma response that causes us to feel disconnected from ourselves. This can include feeling disconnected from our emotions and experiences, struggling to remember our past, or having a sense that the world around us is unreal.

✨Playing the victim

The victim trauma response is the voice of helplessness. It says, “Poor me! There’s nothing I can do.” Victims often refuse to acknowledge their role in creating their own circumstances, shedding any responsibility as they lean into feelings of hopelessness, dejection, and shame.

When someone is stuck in a victim mentality, they struggle to make decisions and acknowledge the power they do have.

✨ Hyper independence

Hyper-independence and resistance to relying on others often arise after we’ve experienced situations where we needed help from others, and they weren’t there for us. Our brains now expect people to not be there to support us, so we shut down the chance for support before someone else can.

✨ Constantly keeping busy

For some people, quiet and still moments are flooded with negative thoughts rather than self-awareness. To cope with those thoughts, they keep themselves busy.

✨Playing the persecutor

The persecutor is another role that we can take on during reenactments. The persecutor is the voice of blame and shame. They are harsh critics who set rigid rules to impose control over situations where they believe they are the authority figure.

While it’s easy to put the blame and shame on the persecutor, the trauma-informed approach tells us that this is their trauma response. When they feel unsafe, they need to exert control.

I know, I know this is a lot to read through, so if you made it to the end thank you! I'm guilty of so many of these responses, and without research i would've never known they were caused by trauma! I thought i'd share these here so we can all be a little more aware. I hope you enjoyed, and learned something new!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

more info at https://www.pacesconnection.com/blog/10-things-you-didn-t-know-were-trauma-responses