How to make friends
Cheers to new friendships.
I’d like to remind you that at any age, you are capable of creating new friendships, new relationships, new co-working experiences, and new forms of exploration for yourself. Take it from me—you don’t do yourself any good dwelling on the whys, hows, and who’s that have left your life. You don’t need those answers. You don’t need the closure from them that you tell yourself you do. What you need is to move forward and heal. You need to realize that the power is yours to start again.
So here are a few tips for starting new beginnings:
Don’t be afraid of saying yes.
Say yes to the coffee, the rollerskating, the dinners, the hikes, the brunches, the themed parties. Say yes to not knowing anyone well in the group.
Second: keep showing up.
You can’t expect to walk away with friendships instantly unless you spend consistent time with people. Studies show it takes around 30 hours with someone just to become casual friends. Your efforts will pay off—but you have to put the work in.
Invest in these new beginnings the way you’d want someone to invest in you.
You get to be the positive energy that ushers in a new world of friendship for yourself.
The Breakdown of Friendship:
According to a 2018 study by psychologist Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas, here’s a breakdown of how many hours it typically takes to build a friendship:
Time Needed to Build Friendship Levels:
Casual Friend: ~30 hours
Friend: ~50 hours
Close Friend: ~90 hours
Best Friend: 200+ hours
Important Notes:
It’s not just about time—it’s about quality. The more meaningful, vulnerable, or playful the time is, the faster a bond forms.
Shared activities, laughter, and emotional support speed up the friendship process.
Passive time (like sitting in class together) doesn’t build closeness as fast as talking, joking, or doing things together.
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Building friendships can be challenging yet rewarding, and understanding the dynamics of friendship development is crucial. A 2018 study by psychologist Jeffrey Hall revealed the time it typically takes to foster different levels of friendships: - Casual Friend: ~30 hours - Friend: ~50 hours - Close Friend: ~90 hours - Best Friend: 200+ hours Investing quality time is essential; meaningful shared experiences facilitate quicker bonding than passive interactions. Engaging in activities such as coffee outings, sports, or themed events can significantly enhance relationship-building. Embrace fun and vulnerability, as these are key ingredients in developing deeper connections. Don't forget to remain open to new experiences and be a source of positive energy to attract new friendships into your life. Remember, every meaningful friendship starts with a simple 'yes'!
