Who else feels this way?
From a very young age, many of us are taught to feel guilty. We’re made to feel guilty for being too loud, too messy, too emotional, too curious, or for wanting things that seem unrealistic—like a unicorn when we’re children.
Then we grow up, and the guilt just changes shape. We feel guilty for having too much money or not enough money. For working too much or not working enough. For having sex or not having sex. For going out too much or staying home too much. For having children, not having children, having too many children, or waiting too long to have them.
At some point, I realized that much of the guilt I’ve carried wasn’t the result of doing something wrong. It came from trying to live up to other people’s expectations, opinions, and judgments. Half of my life has been spent feeling guilty, not because I deserved to, but because someone else decided I should.
The older I get, the more I realize that no matter what choices we make, someone will have an opinion about them. Maybe freedom comes when we stop carrying guilt that was never ours to begin with.
Growing up in a world where guilt is often a constant companion can be exhausting. From my own experiences, I remember feeling pressured to conform to others' ideals, which led to carrying guilt for things beyond my control or responsibility. The TikTok text truly resonated with me: "Half of my life has been spent feeling guilty, not because of anything I did, but because others convinced me I should." It's essential to recognize where these feelings originate. Many of us internalize societal standards to such an extent that we blame ourselves for choices that are simply personal preferences or life circumstances. For example, some people feel guilt for prioritizing career over family, while others feel judged for different decisions surrounding relationships or lifestyle. One strategy that helped me was journaling about my feelings whenever guilt arose. It provided clarity and helped me separate genuine remorse from imposed guilt. Additionally, discussing these feelings with trusted friends or professionals made me realize many share similar struggles. Understanding that freedom comes when we stop carrying guilt that was never ours is liberating. It allows us to make choices aligned with our values and desires, rather than bending to external pressures. To anyone feeling weighed down by guilt, remember you aren’t alone, and breaking free is possible through self-compassion and setting healthy boundaries.
