Planning my wedding while pregnant
Growing up, I never wanted a wedding. No awkward marches, no spotlight, no aching cheeks from having to smile the whole day despite not being able to sleep the night before. I think a huge reason was also cause I don’t have many friends and it was quite a sad and troubling feeling being able to count my friend invites with my two hands.
My partner proposed in February of 2024 and we managed to get a wedding date and booked a venue before March’24 ended. I signed with a bridal shop and booked my pre-wedding shoot in Shanghai by April.
Then we realised I was pregnant at the end of May’24.
Frankly, I thought of using my pregnancy as an excuse not to have a wedding but we decided to go ahead with it because we already financially committed and if we had to have a wedding eventually, I would rather get it done and over with.
I gained more than 20kg throughout my entire pregnancy and felt like a giant ball. I have not mustered the courage to look at my wedding photos properly because I briefly saw a couple of photos and felt quite grossed out by how round I was. (Fully take accountability cause I was happily stuffing myself throughout my pregnancy, no remorse whatsoever though. Would happily stuff myself with good food if I ever get pregnant again.)
Appearance wise, I felt like a giant ball and it was relatively demoralising. Some friends mentioned I was ‘glowing’ at that time and I remember being so thankful for the comments cause I definitely did not feel it.
However, having my pre-wedding shoot and my final fitting for my wedding gown while pregnant was definitely the ego boost I needed. I felt so pretty during my pre-wedding shoot, thanks to the talented make up artist. She dolled me up so nicely and the outcomes for the photos were great too. (Yes, photoshopped but I think it’s still obviously us.) Honestly, was considering bringing her over for my actual wedding but decided it wasn’t financially wise given I already have my make up booked with the gown studio.
During the pre-wedding shoot, we actually asked the team to help take a couple photos of us that could pass off as maternity shots and we ended up selecting one to keep.
When I went for my final gown fitting, the very sweet lady boss also helped me take some photos of my rubbing my bump, in my wedding gown. (Let me just note it here for future reference that I changed my wedding gown 2 weeks before the wedding because I couldn’t stand how fat my arms looked in a thin-strapped gown, lady boss suggested off-shoulder so I can hide my insecurity and they managed to alter it less than 2 weeks to my wedding.🥹)
I loved the fact that my baby (bump) was involved in the wedding process and I was glad I have some nicely taken photos with my bump (just not the fact that I was a round ball). I wish I went for a proper maternity shoot but also understand and acknowledge that at the point of being pregnant, I wasn’t feeling the best about my appearance.
Wedding preparations wise, I procrastinated everything else. When we came back from our trip to Shanghai, it was about 6 weeks to our wedding. But we only picked up loose ends about 2 weeks from the wedding day. 2 weeks from our wedding, we finally confirmed the seating arrangements and attendees with the hotel. We confirmed the wedding day itinerary, maybe 3 days before the actual day?
In my defence, I was pregnant.
(Haha, I’m kidding. It was a convenient excuse for a lot of things I didn’t want to do during that period.)
Honestly, my mindset towards wedding planning was that there was going to be a lot that didn’t go my way if I were to plan down to the nitty gritty. So, to begin with, I decided there was no point pushing for specifics and just letting whoever I enlisted for whatever help, free roam. (Grateful for the amazing help we had.) My game plan was just to have a skeleton for the day and we’ll just wing everything else.
We held our wedding November last year while I was 7 months pregnant. Despite not wanting a wedding, it turned out to be a family gathering after a very long while so I’m glad I had it. I was honoured that relatives flew in from USA, Malaysia and Australia, it was nice seeing my grandparents happily reuniting with their siblings. It was also nice to see my parents’ friends that saw me grow up. I didn’t invite a lot of friends (not many to begin with, as mentioned) but at the end of the day, it was a great feeling seeing friends from the different stages of my life show up and connecting with each other. (Worlds colliding type of moment.) Thankful for all who showed up.☺️
TLDR; When I tweaked my perspective and realised it wasn’t a day all about me and my partner, it made the whole process more exciting. Also, minimal expectations helped with stress management.
(On my wedding day, I was a pregnant round ball of a bride, running on nothing but adrenaline but it was a happy day nonetheless. Would not get married again though.🙂↔️ -happy wife of a almost one-year-old marriage)
Planning a wedding while pregnant can feel overwhelming, but it can also be an empowering and memorable experience. From my own journey, I learned that adjusting expectations and embracing the realities of pregnancy helped reduce stress and made the process more enjoyable. One important tip is to include your pregnancy in the celebration, such as incorporating maternity-style photos during your pre-wedding shoot. This not only highlights your journey but also creates beautiful, meaningful memories that celebrate both your union and the new life you're bringing into the world. The support and understanding of your bridal team can make a huge difference—my gown fitting was adapted last minute to help me feel comfortable and confident, which was invaluable. Don't hesitate to lean on family and friends for help with planning, especially when energy is low. I found that a flexible and minimalistic approach to the wedding itinerary helped alleviate anxiety. Remember, this day isn't just about you and your partner—it's a rare chance to reconnect and celebrate with loved ones, making it all the more special. Finally, accept that your body is changing and give yourself grace. I gained over 20kg and felt insecure at times, but many called me 'glowing.' Those affirmations helped me appreciate my pregnancy and the life growing inside me during our wedding. Embracing these moments can turn a challenging experience into one filled with love and happiness.
Thanks for sharing! I was also 4months pregnant when I got married and the process was 😮💨 thankfully we don’t have to do it again!