PSA: being low maintenance is not a personality trait. It’s a trauma response.
So you got quiet about what you needed…I know I sure did. You stopped asking. You stopped expecting. You made yourself easy to be around by making yourself impossible to actually know.
And somewhere along the way you started calling it your personality. “I don’t really have a preference.” “I’m good with whatever.” I remember saying those lines all too well.🥴
But here’s what’s actually true: you have preferences. You have needs. You have things that matter deeply to you that you have trained yourself not to say out loud because it became easier to stay quiet, to shrink yourself.
That’s not a personality. That’s a survival strategy. And it worked for awhile. Until you looked up one day and realized nobody actually knows what you want. Including you.
The work of coming back to yourself starts exactly here. With deciding that what you want is worth saying out loud.
📣Save this if it landed. Comment WOMAN or click the link in my bio if you’re ready to do that work.
From personal experience, I realized that labeling myself as "low maintenance" was a way to avoid vulnerability and minimize the risk of rejection. For years, I avoided expressing my true needs because I feared being judged as "high maintenance" or difficult. This survival strategy helped me navigate difficult relationships, but over time, it left me feeling invisible and disconnected from my own desires. It’s important to recognize that having preferences and expressing needs is a sign of self-respect, not selfishness. Trauma can teach us to shrink ourselves in order to cope with past pain or criticism, but it doesn’t define who we are. Embracing your needs openly allows you to form authentic relationships where your true self is valued. If you relate to this, try journaling about what you really want without filtering yourself. Start small by voicing needs in safe spaces, and notice the relief that can come from being understood. Seeking support from a therapist or a trusted community can facilitate this healing journey, helping you dismantle old survival patterns and build a stronger sense of self-worth. Remember, being "low maintenance" is not a badge of honor—it's often a protective response to trauma. Choosing to honor yourself by expressing your wants and boundaries can transform your relationships and your inner life profoundly.