In my boyfriend era ✨

Recently I’ve been going through a lot losing my family members and friends from my life. It’s been hard but it’s like hey they’re still here. Not the point. I’ve been struggling on this topic because I’ve never really been in a situation like this before. I had found out that my boyfriend of almost 5 months still had nudes pictures and videos of his ex’s and girls he talked to from months and years ago. The thing was I thought he deleted those things off of his phone turns out he never did. I had went through his phone because I had a feeling something wasn’t right at all with us. He was constantly on his phone talking to other girls that are his friends. But honestly I’ve been feeling like he likes skinny girls and it had me thinking a lot about myself because he had never judged me about it but now it’s like every time we have a conversation about anything he tells me everything his ex did wrong to him and I honestly don’t want to hear you talk about your ex and what she did to you like no. I’ve told him I’m not trying to be rude or anything but it’s like when do you ever see me talk about my ex’s never do why bring her up. When I went through his phone I found so many things that I wish I didn’t see because I wish he did things like I asked. I’m not the type of person to keep telling you how to do things or do them on your own time or whatever but it’s starting to get to a point where he realizes on me to much and I’m tired of having to repeat myself all the time. Constantly doing everything for him. I’m tried. I’m trying to have a conversation with him right now but he’s falling asleep idk what to do anymore

2024/10/30 Edited to

... Read moreWow, reading your story hits close to home. It's incredibly tough when you realize the person you're with might not be who you thought, especially when trust is shaken. Finding out about old photos or videos of exes can feel like a punch to the gut, and it's completely valid to feel insecure and betrayed. I've been there, feeling that knot in my stomach, wondering if my feelings even mattered. When you're dealing with something as sensitive as deleted photos/videos of exes, it's crucial to approach the conversation carefully, but firmly. It's not about accusing, but about expressing how *you feel*. You could say, 'When I found those pictures, it made me feel [insecure/unimportant/betrayed], and I need to understand why they were still there.' It's about setting boundaries. Your partner's response, as hinted in your messages, about confirming deletion, is a starting point, but it's just the first step. True resolution comes from understanding and a commitment to rebuild trust. Then there's the communication breakdown, which is so common. It's exhausting feeling like you're constantly repeating yourself, especially when your partner seems to check out or fall asleep during important discussions. I've learned that timing is everything for these deep couple questions. Try to pick a moment when you both are rested and not stressed. Sometimes, writing down what you want to say can help organize your thoughts and ensure you cover all your points, like how his constant bringing up exes makes you feel. It's about 'I' statements: 'I feel left out when you talk about your ex's life,' or 'I feel inadequate when you mention past relationships in a way that compares them to us.' It's natural to feel inadequate or like he 'likes skinny girls' when you're already feeling vulnerable. This isn't about your body; it’s about his words and actions impacting your self-worth. In moments like these, focus on reinforcing your own value. What do you love about yourself? What makes you amazing? Surround yourself with friends who lift you up. Don't let his perceived preferences define your confidence. And the constant talk about exes? That's a major red flag for many. While everyone has a past, a healthy 'boyfriend meaning in relationship' doesn't involve endlessly rehashing old flame's mistakes or virtues. It shifts the focus away from your relationship. You've already tried to address it, and it's okay to reiterate your boundary: 'I understand you have a past, but when you constantly talk about your ex, it makes me feel like there's still a part of you stuck there, and it hurts our connection.' Ultimately, this stress of love is about figuring out if you're both on the same page for a strong partnership. If you're consistently doing everything for him, feeling unheard, and struggling with basic communication, it's okay to ask yourself what you truly need and deserve. Sometimes, we realize someone isn't who we thought, and that realization, while painful, is also a step towards finding a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and genuinely happy. Don't be afraid to ask those hard questions to your boyfriend, and more importantly, ask them to yourself.

136 comments

becky.chimmy's images
becky.chimmy

Nah girl you are doing too much for someone who doesn’t care about it, he didn’t delete nudes from his previous relationships? That’s a major red flag, he doesn’t communicate properly? Boy behavior, he doesn’t take the initiative in sex? That’s horrible

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