If you ever really want to love and be loved

The poem beautifully articulates a profound truth: "If you ever really want to love and be loved, you must choose to love in every tense." It's a philosophy that goes far beyond fleeting affection, challenging us to embrace a love that endures through all seasons of life. It delves into the very essence of what it means to truly connect and sustain a relationship over time. For me, this isn't just a poetic phrase; it’s a blueprint for deep connection and a better "way to love." It means understanding that love isn't static. It's "not enough that I love you now" when things are easy or exciting. Just like the poem describes, "To love someone in an instant is easy." But true love, the kind that creates a deep "romantic life my love" dreams are made of, means seeing and valuing someone "when their bones are all that's left" – when they're vulnerable, struggling, or simply not at their peak. It means loving them from their "rise to their set," constantly adapting to the "Every version of you that you are." It's about loving the person, not just the temporary circumstances or attributes, much like loving "the sun from the moment it arrives to the moment that it sets." Many of us, myself included, have perhaps subconsciously practiced a more conditional form of love. We love when our partner is happy, successful, or meets our expectations. But the poem asks us to rethink this. It’s about being there "when you have everything to offer and when you have nothing left." This perspective directly addresses the idea of "embracing love" in its fullest, most challenging forms. It’s about letting go of the need for things to be perfect and instead, choosing to love the imperfection, the evolution, and the enduring spirit of the other person. You often hear the adage, "if you love something let it go." While that can apply to certain attachments, desires, or expectations we place on others, I've come to believe it doesn't apply to the core person you deeply love in this "every tense" way. Instead, it’s about holding on and *adapting*. It's about letting go of rigid ideas of what love should be and embracing what it is in that moment. It's letting go of the notion that love should always be effortless, and instead, investing in the effort required to love through challenges. This isn't letting go of the person; it's letting go of conditional love. This concept also shines a light on "being loved correctly." When someone loves you "in every moment, present, future tense," you feel seen, truly valued, and secure. It's knowing that even on your worst days, or when you feel you have nothing left to give, that love is still there. This profound acceptance fosters an incredible "peace of mind" and allows you to be your authentic self within the relationship, without fear of judgment or abandonment. It’s a powerful foundation for any "article about love." So, how do we practice this "way to love" and cultivate such an enduring connection? Mindful Presence: Be truly present with your loved one, not just physically, but emotionally. Listen, observe, and acknowledge their current state, even if it's different from yesterday. Radical Acceptance: Learn to accept your loved one for who they are *right now*, not who you wish them to be. This includes their flaws, their evolving dreams, and their changing moods. Remember the poem's image: "I love you now and now and now, and I love you for the rest." Active Support: Love isn't passive. It means actively supporting them through their "rise" and their "set." It’s celebrating their victories and holding their hand during their struggles. Reaffirmation: Regularly communicate your unwavering love. Let them know you're committed to loving them through all "tenses." This deeper understanding transforms love from a fleeting feeling into a conscious choice, creating a foundation for a truly fulfilling and lasting connection that stands the test of time.