Divorce broke me down, but it also built me up

Divorce was one of the most challenging experiences of my life, but it also became a turning point for personal growth. In 2013, when I got married, I believed it would last forever. I’m the type of person who holds on through thick and thin. But in 2018, just before our fifth anniversary, my ex-husband told me he didn’t want to be married anymore. He admitted to infidelity, and his parting words were, ‘Looking at you makes me cringe.’

Hearing that shattered me. People told me it was more about him than me, but it led me to a deep, hard look at myself. Was I really so difficult to live with? I wasn’t ready to face those questions then, but over time, I found my answers. Today, I see there were parts of me that needed growth.

That painful experience pushed me to change. I’m more self-aware, confident, and I don’t settle for anything that doesn’t align with my values. Since then, I’ve earned my MBA, bought a home on my own, increased my salary by 127%, and most importantly, learned to love myself as I am—flaws and all. I know my worth now, and I won’t compromise it again.

Divorce broke me down, but it also built me back up, stronger than ever. If you’re going through something similar, I want you to know there is another side. The pain doesn’t disappear, but it becomes a motivation—not just to survive but to thrive. Share your story if you feel ready, and if you’re feeling stuck, know that I’m here cheering for you every step of the way. #safespace

#lemon8challenge

#lifeafterdivorce #griefandhealing

2024/11/2 Edited to

... Read moreAfter divorce, that feeling of being utterly broken can be overwhelming, but I truly believe it's also your biggest opportunity for a personal glow up. For me, it wasn’t an overnight transformation; it was a journey of small, intentional steps. One of the first things I focused on was reclaiming my space. Moving into my own brick house, holding that house key for the first time – it was incredibly empowering. It wasn't just about having a roof over my head; it was about creating a sanctuary, a place where I felt safe to heal and grow. I started by decluttering, painting rooms colors I loved, and filling it with things that brought me joy, rather than memories. It truly helped me feel like I was building a new foundation, literally and figuratively. Next, I realized my emotional well-being needed just as much attention as my physical surroundings. I sought out a therapist, which was a game-changer. Having a neutral party to help process the grief, anger, and confusion was invaluable. I also started a gratitude journal, forcing myself to find three positive things each day, no matter how small. This slowly shifted my mindset from victim to victor. A 'glow up' isn't just internal; it's about feeling good about yourself externally too. For me, this involved getting back into a fitness routine and paying more attention to my nutrition. It wasn't about trying to look like someone else, but about feeling strong and energized. I also invested in a few new wardrobe pieces that made me feel confident and stylish – a subtle but powerful way to boost self-esteem. Financially, rebuilding was huge. Beyond my MBA, I took online courses to upskill in my field and actively sought out new career opportunities. It was scary, but seeing my salary increase gave me a huge sense of security and independence. I also started budgeting meticulously and building an emergency fund. Knowing I could stand on my own two feet financially brought an immense sense of peace. Finally, reconnecting with my passion and purpose was vital. I picked up old hobbies I’d neglected, like hiking and photography, and even explored new ones. Surrounding myself with supportive friends and family, and even making new connections through classes and groups, helped me remember who I was outside of a relationship. It's about finding joy in everyday moments and knowing that happiness isn't dependent on someone else. Seeing myself smile more, truly smile, like in that picture with my son in front of our new home, is the best testament to how far I’ve come. Remember, your glow up isn't just about looking better; it's about living better.

17 comments

frenchieroscoe's images
frenchieroscoe

Amen

See more comments

Related posts

A pink calculator and an open budget planner with a pen, showing a biweekly budget. Overlays read 'How To' and '#PaycheckBudget', indicating a guide to budgeting.
A biweekly paycheck budget example showing a $1,000 paycheck breakdown into categories like rent, bills, groceries, gas, fun/spending, and savings, with a calculator in the background.
A monthly budget snapshot based on two paychecks, totaling $2,000, with doubled amounts for rent, bills, groceries, gas, fun/spending, and savings, emphasizing consistency.
The Paycheck Plan That Built My Savings 💸
Let me be clear-this isn’t the budget. It’s an example of what a budget can look like when you actually give your money a job. I used to think budgeting meant I had to restrict myself, say no to everything fun, and obsess over spreadsheets. But once I realized it’s just a system, a plan I build
Mari 🦋

Mari 🦋

3277 likes

Divorce Did Not Disqualify Me
Divorce can leave a woman questioning everything. Your worth. Your identity. Your future. Sometimes it feels like the life you built collapsed overnight. But what ended in your life did not end your value in God’s eyes. Your past does not erase your purpose. God still calls you:
IAMRUTH MINISTRIES

IAMRUTH MINISTRIES

119 likes

His diagnosis broke me wide open,but it also built
It forced me to see life in a way I never had before, raw, honest, and sacred. All the things I used to chase like perfection, control, and normalcy don't matter anymore Now I live for the tiny things: his laugh, his strength, the way his spirit shines even on hard days. I've cried mo
Alexis

Alexis

1 like

STORYTIME: I THOUGHT I WAS ASEXUAL UNTIL I DIVORCE
STORYTIME: I THOUGHT I WAS ASEXUAL UNTIL I DIVORCED MY HUSBAND #storytime #makeupstorytime #reels
SelfCare Sister

SelfCare Sister

301 likes

Lies I Believed About Divorce
Going through something like this will have you questioning everything… especially yourself. I didn’t realize how many lies I started believing until I slowed down and really paid attention to my thoughts. This season has been about unlearning… and coming back to what’s actually true. Not
Her Soft Season 💗

Her Soft Season 💗

56 likes

#divorce
#divorcedbutnotdestroyed #loosingweight
Crissy Lane ☆☆☆☆☆

Crissy Lane ☆☆☆☆☆

26 likes

Break Free From Habits That Keep You Broke
6 Habits That Keep You Broke and Stuck (And How to Break Free Starting Today) This post isn’t about calling anyone out It’s about showing the habits that quietly keep people broke, stuck, and drained Because staying poor isn’t just about money It’s about how you spend your time How you thi
fig3lvls

fig3lvls

492 likes

I built finance tracker app without coding skills🫶
New Year’s Resolution: Stop being a broke student. 📉🤡 I built a custom finance tracker in minutes using “Emergent.sh” to save my bank account this semester. No coding required, just vibes and financial responsibility. 💅✨ Link in bio to build yours! #emergent #emergentsh #students
studywithemmane

studywithemmane

27 likes

Divorce with kids
#gettoknowme follow for more Florida Divorce/Family Law content. #floridadivorcelawyer #divorce #divorcelawyer
Florida Divorce Lawyer

Florida Divorce Lawyer

13 likes

💔😭😭Truth i wished I knew earlier before my Divorce
#God #Jesus #Faith #ChristianTikTok #Bible #Motivation #Prayer #Viral #FYP #Inspiration Best Viral Hashtag Set: #God #Jesus #ChristianTikTok #Faith #Bible #FYP #Viral #Prayer #Motivation #HolySpirit #Gospel #BibleVerse #Inspiration #Christian #LightOfTheWorld
LOVE IS THE GREATEST

LOVE IS THE GREATEST

11 likes

33rd book: The Divorce
finally got around reading her latest book👀 The Divorce is another addictive Freida McFadden thriller that had me questioning everyone from the very beginning. What starts as a failing marriage quickly spirals into secrets, deception, and unexpected twists that kept me turning pages late into th
boundbystoriesco

boundbystoriesco

112 likes

Divorce Diary
Divorce isn’t the end. It’s the beginning #divorce #Lemon8Diary #relationship #narcissisticabuse
Jennie

Jennie

7 likes

making more money didn’t fix my fear of being broke.
growing up, i always thought once i hit millions in my bank account, i’ll finally feel safe. well, i hit it. and guess what? the anxiety didn't leave. it just mutated. instead of worrying about how to pay rent, i started worrying about losing what i’d built. checking my bank app 5 times a d
Inashwealth

Inashwealth

10 likes

Divorce didn't break me, it built me.
it built me. It taught me my worth, my strength, and that I deserve to pour into people who value me. #SugarMummyVibes #DivorceGlowUp #SpoilAndBeSpoiled #IndependentWoman #LuxuryLifestyle
Momma Karaa Miller

Momma Karaa Miller

13 likes

Kandi & Todd finalized divorce
Signed, Sealed, Delivered… It’s OVER! Kandi & Todd’s Divorce Is a Done Deal! The tea is sweet🫖👅 #kandiburruss #toddtucker #fyp #rhoa
sweet tea the blog

sweet tea the blog

26 likes

Built different.Broke proud.
Built different. Broke proud. Still standing. If this hits, it wasn’t made for everyone. 🎧 Built Different — Dust & Harmony Presale live. Link in bio. #BuiltDifferent #BrokeProud #RealMusic #BlueCollarAnthem #NewMusic2025
Dust & Harmony — Swamp Country

Dust & Harmony — Swamp Country

15 likes

I Avoid My Bank Account When I’m Broke 🤍
I don’t avoid my bank account because I’m “bad with money.” I avoid it when I’m scared. When I know things feel tight. When I don’t want to see the number. When I’m embarrassed it’s lower than I hoped. And avoiding it never helps. It just makes everything heavier. So instead of try
mads 👏🏻

mads 👏🏻

11 likes

When love is built, not borrowed — it lasts. 💎
#rootedinradiance88 #fyp #love #Lemon8 #lemon8challenge
rootedinradiance88

rootedinradiance88

27 likes

Divorce
Palm reading comprehensively reads the hand shape, palm, fingers, lines, and signs. It even requires birth information for astrology, which can tell a person's destiny direction and life report. #palmistry #palmreading #astrology #fortune telling #fengshuimaster
interpretdream6

interpretdream6

16 likes

single divorce curado and here 4 whatever's.
single 8 months divorce and single and meeting who ever wants 2 ay pa todas lol no puro pekz pero send me a messege and I reply orale pues peace out my friends #si nglefather# #singledad #limon8fyp #friendly !
•Ibarra Capricorn™•

•Ibarra Capricorn™•

31 likes

The year that broke me down & built me up again
#gettoknowme #yearrecap #yearofgrowth #Lemon8Diary #my2024
✩chii ˚୨୧⋆

✩chii ˚୨୧⋆

1 like

A hand holds Freida McFadden's book 'The Divorce,' featuring a wedding cake topper couple on a dark purple cover with red splatters. The book rests on floral bedding. Overlays read 'My Honest BOOK REVIEW' and 'Rating: 8/10'.
Book Review: The Divorce by Freida McFadden📚
⭐️Overall rating: 8/10 Ahh! Okay! My first actual book review. Bear with me! I'm going to try to keep it simple and try to not spoil anything! I sincerely apologize if I give anything away! I loved the book and read it in two days! The only thing keeping me from giving it a 10/10 was h
Rocie💫

Rocie💫

106 likes

Divorce Is Off The Table for Me and My Husband
Divorce Is Off The Table for Me and My Husband Not because we’re perfect. Not because we never have bad days. Not because we always get it right. Divorce is off the table because we understand that: ✨Bad days aren't signs to quit — they're invitations to mature. ✨We are two humans
Chisa

Chisa

686 likes

I wasn’t readyto retire broke.
I wasn’t ready to retire broke. I know that sounds blunt, but that is where my head was. I had worked for years. Built a business. Raised my family. Did what I thought I was supposed to do. And then I started looking at the numbers and thinking… Wait. This is not enough. Not if pr
Connie/thesubtlemompreneur

Connie/thesubtlemompreneur

0 likes

Is Your Mindset Keeping You BROKE? 💀
Your bank account is a reflection of your mindset. 💭💰 If you believe money is hard to make, if you’re scared to spend, or if you think you’ll always struggle—you’re keeping yourself broke. 🚨 💡 Here’s the truth: ✅ Money is a skill—you can learn it. ✅ Wealth is built by action—not fear. ✅ Yo
Mari 🦋

Mari 🦋

186 likes

You didn’t the marriage alone you don’t have to do the divorce alone too ♥️
#confidence #nervoussystemregulation #safety #feelingsafe #divorce
Shazmeera Qadri

Shazmeera Qadri

2 likes

In 2020 I was broke and terrified.
I’m talking moving money around hoping nothing unexpected hit. Stressed every single month. Figuring it out but barely. So I bet on myself and built a full time income from my phone. No degree required. No following required. No experience required. Just a woman who was desperate eno
BreeAhna Swade

BreeAhna Swade

7 likes

Rebuilding After Divorce With 3 Kids 🤍
I didn’t rebuild my life by being strong. I rebuilt it by giving myself structure when everything felt unstable. Full-time job. Three kids. A nervous system stuck in survival mode. What changed everything wasn’t motivation. It was tiny, repeatable structure that gave my energy back. Th
Kendal

Kendal

9 likes

Post-divorce glow up 😍
It's not the loss of the marriage that brought my spark back, but rather my ability to love myself like I've never done before ❤️
Esther

Esther

2 likes

Journal: Angela 3 of 3
Part 1 — The Mirror The shower was already running before I fully understood why. Steam crawled slowly across the bathroom mirror until my reflection started disappearing piece by piece. First my eyes. Then my mouth. Then the rest of me. That felt about right. The man standing
Kevin W. Simpson

Kevin W. Simpson

1 like

Is your inheritance at risk in a divorce?
Maybe, if you commingled your funds. Seek legal advice right away to minimize your risk! #legaladvice #lawfirm #lasvegas #inheritance #divorce
Fuller Law Practice

Fuller Law Practice

3 likes

Divorce Series | The Legal Reality Part 5
No one warns you what it feels like when divorce moves from emotional… to legal. It’s a shift you feel in your body. Suddenly it’s not just heartbreak, it’s documents, deadlines, decisions, and dollars. You go from crying in your car to sitting across from a lawyer, talking about your life l
Angela Hay

Angela Hay

32 likes

Topic: Grieving and HealingDivorce or Breakup
After my relationship ended, I found myself lost and broken. But in the process of healing, I discovered my strength. This space is for anyone who is also picking up the pieces and moving forward. #safespace #lemon8challenge #healingafterloss #movingon #divorcerecovery #safespace
falsedestiny

falsedestiny

9 likes

My Mother Broke Me
My bio mother broke me. I was born into a broken world. I was born already in the water and as I grew and attempted to reach out to her to bring me to the shore, she held me under the water until I almost closed my eyes and let the world take me. I wasn’t allowed to cry. I wasn’t allowed to be
Sincerely Emm

Sincerely Emm

6 likes

✨💻 I Broke The 1-Page Resumé Rule | Have You?? 📑✨
✨ We’ve all heard the “rule” that a resumé should only be one page… but let’s be honest, how is that realistic when you’ve worked hard, gained experience, earned certifications, and built skills that DESERVE to be seen? ✨ I have always refused to shrink my value into a single sheet just because
Margarita

Margarita

27 likes

Amazon built me when everyone said it wouldn’t
I’ve been at Amazon for 2 1/2 years. I don’t regret a single thing and it has been the most rewarding journey of my life. I truly don’t know who I would be without it. I don’t plan to stay there forever. A few more years and then I’m planning to leave. If you’re in a rut, or if you feel hopeless I
A s h l e y

A s h l e y

93 likes

How long does it really take to heal from divorce?
Not legally. Emotionally. Whether you asked for it or not—divorce shakes your foundation. You replay conversations. Question your worth. Wonder: “How could they treat me this way after everything I gave?” Here’s the truth no one tells you: It takes about 2 years—from the moment you truly a
Divorce | Divorced | Diaries

Divorce | Divorced | Diaries

2 likes

🌿 Divorce Isn’t the End. It’s a Reintroduction.
I didn’t just lose a marriage. I lost the version of myself that shrank to keep peace. The one who tolerated silence instead of being heard. The one who thought love had to hurt sometimes. But here’s what I’ve learned in the rubble: ✨ Grief isn’t just for the relationship, it’s for the dre
Jessica Irene

Jessica Irene

88 likes

Were you Weaponized in someone’s divorce?
Feeling alone on your healing journey? Join the new, limited enrollment community, CMTY-PLUS! which provides direct access to me, 2x/month plus drawings every month for free group & 1:1 counseling with me, priority pass access to more opportunities, plus a great community of warm and supportive
BadassCounseling

BadassCounseling

7 likes

The Struggles of Dating Over 40 Post Divorce
Dating over 40 Post Divorce is a completely different ballgame. #datingover40 #lifecoaching #singleover40 #datingadvice101
Bi-Coastal Vitality 🌱

Bi-Coastal Vitality 🌱

11 likes

A hand holds the horror novel "Child of Divorce" by Aron Beauregard. The cover features a screaming child on a swing, engulfed in flames, with "PLAYGROUND" in colorful letters above and "CHILD OF DIVORCE" at the bottom.
CHILD OF DIVORCE (Playground prequel)
“Child of Divorce” by Aron Beauregard is one of those books that grabs you by the throat from page one and doesn’t let go. It’s dark, it’s twisted, and it’s way too real at times. The whole vibe is brutal but in the best way…like you’re pulled right into the chaos and can’t look away. What I lov
Kathryn 📚 🐈‍⬛ ☕️

Kathryn 📚 🐈‍⬛ ☕️

88 likes

Starting over…a divorce help guide 🥰🤍
#lemon8diarychallenge Hey everyone! This is my very first lemon8 post so I want share a not so popular topic as it’s been 5 years since my very traumatic divorce and learning how to move on and regain myself. 1) Focus on YOU. I find that we as women naturally give, to others, friends, kids,
Alicia Kennedy

Alicia Kennedy

25 likes

See more