My top 9 advice for people new to polyamory👇

I feel like I’m failing at poly! Going On a 3 yr relationship. (MFF) I’m becoming extremely jealous, Suspicious of motives, wayyyyy overthinking everything until I literally ended up in the hospital (psych) because I drove myself to literal insanity. We Are still in this relationship and Tho I play the role I’m not at All ok with this and the direction it’s gone. I do dearly love her and my husband is my whole life. He and i entered polyamory together with the intention of having a constant play mate. We had Just Gotten out of a 6 yr relationship where I was emotionally and mentally abused. I absolutely wasnt ready. But he and her connected thar first night meeting. We HAD very clear boundaries from The get!! Never play apart, we will NEVER be open. (He and his exwife were). I’m not built or wired that way. Swinging with boundaries is fine!! I always expected to to be his number one and now I don’t Feel that I am anymore. If i bring it Up I’m being petty and I’m selfish (get that from both parties) I’m not wired For the poly life—it’s killing my slowly (not a joke) wish i didn’t care so much for her—I’d just walk away hopefully taking him with me. Tbh I’m scared if I give that ultimatum he’ll choose her because I’m ruining his happiness and fun. She’s 46; I’m 57. She’s in hee prime rn. Me? Ha ha ha full blown menopause. Ugh she’s a complete sex fiend and I’m struggling to recognize the woman in the mirror. It’s all just Too much. Just want to have my husband back to me. I want to feel like WE are a priority—like WE come first. I haven’t felt Like That in 3 yrs. 🥺 how Do I get past my jealousy and insecurities? I can’t just kick her To the curb—theres two whole families involved at this point. So any advice other Than what my therapist said “ypur Gonna have to get past it at This point. Your 3 yrs in.” Take her to the beach—just You and her and reconnect.” I’m not sure how I feel about that!! Anyway—I’m so sorry it’s so long—but Thank you!