Should I drop it?
I don’t wanna provide too many ss since it’s a lot but my bf has been friends with this girl for a few months and she’s known for going around and flirting with guys who have gfs so I’ve made it clear I’m not comfortable with them talking and he fought me on it so i reluctantly agreed today we get into an argument because I find out during thanksgiving break he went out with her TWICE and she came over to his house at night without telling me or even asking if it’s alright. His mom asked if I was ok with this and he said I am (he lied to her) so my sister decided to dm him wondering if we’re still tg because she sees him posted a lot on her page and he says ya why and she tells him about his reputation and he responds with basically knowing about it and he goes to the girl and tells her about it and giving her my sisters instagram (her and my sister don’t like eachother) and she cusses her out and telling her to mind her business. My sister obviously tells me about this and so I talk to my bf why would you do that when it is in fact not her business, he argues with me about how it is her business and how she should know what my sister is saying about her reputation (which he agreed with her on) then the discussion switched to how he never told me they hung out and his excuse as in the ss “he just wasn’t thinking” after a few more minutes he finally says bc he knew I’d get mad. So not only did he lie to me about it and his mom hes hiding stuff from me and when I said “your risking our relationship for her” (i probably shouldn’t have called her that I apologize) he literally agrees to it so I tell him don’t talk to me and I send a big paragraph basically summing up everything he’s done and he again tried justifying it by him wanting to keep his friend. He tells me nothing is going on and the reason I can’t trust him so easily is bc of her reputation and he has cheated on me in the past I just recently found out about five or six months ago. Should I drop it and see he just wants to keep a friend? Or should I keep standing my ground on this?#discussion #response #questionsanswered #boyfriendproblems #relationshipadvice
Navigating trust issues in relationships can be incredibly challenging, especially when your partner maintains close ties with someone known for flirting despite existing commitments. In this situation, your boyfriend’s actions—going out with a female friend behind your back, lying about it to you and even to his own mother, and sharing personal details with mutual acquaintances—highlight clear boundaries being crossed. "Risking our relationship for a hoe," as you expressed, reflects valid concerns about priority and respect. It's crucial to understand that trust is a foundation, and repeated dishonesty can severely damage it. Your boyfriend's acknowledgment that he's "risking our relationship for her" signals a deeper conflict between his loyalty to the friendship and your partnership. When couples face such circumstances, maintaining open communication while setting explicit boundaries with others is essential. Additionally, involving family members, like your sister reaching out and sharing perspectives, introduces another layer of complexity. While your sister's intent may be protective, it’s important to navigate these interactions carefully to avoid escalating tensions. His decision to provide your sister’s contact details to the girl—someone who doesn’t get along with your sister—resulted in more conflict and highlights how the situation is entangled with mistrust on several fronts. Importantly, history of cheating adds to your justified insecurity. Healing from past infidelity often requires transparency and changed behavior, which appears to be lacking here. Standing your ground is vital; accepting harmful behavior risks reinforcing unhealthy patterns. Before deciding to "drop it," consider your emotional well-being and what you are and aren't willing to tolerate. Seeking couples counseling or individual therapy might help clarify feelings and establish clear, healthy boundaries. Ultimately, trust must be earned, and relationships thrive when both partners respect each other's feelings and commitments.
Girly, he cheated on you a few months ago, and I get that you guys may have worked that out which is wonderful however, he is already showing patterns again and I don’t doubt he has already cheated on u with this girl. He shows no care for your emotions, he is blatantly trying to make himself the victim, he admitted to lying to you because you “might get mad” which tells me he knows it was wrong. A cheater is always cheater, I’m not sure how old you are but in my view you date to marry, if you can’t see yourself marrying him (which I hope you can’t) then dump him! Also that girl is a hoe don’t fell sorry for calling her that, not only did she know your man had a girl but went on to cuss your family out. Your boyfriend, didn’t stand up for you, is taking her side, and being a better “boyfriend” to her than to you. You are worth more than this, my messages are always open of there is background.