Why I don’t wear hijab

It's truly humbling to share such a personal journey, especially when facing questions about deeply individual choices like wearing a hijab. My path as a Muslim woman has been anything but conventional, and I've learned so much about faith, resilience, and self-acceptance along the way. When people ask "Why aren't you wearing your hijab?" or make assumptions, it’s a reminder that everyone’s journey with their faith and identity is uniquely their own. For me, the decision not to wear my hijab consistently stems from a combination of significant life events and ongoing health challenges. Dealing with the aftermath of a brain tumor has brought its own set of physical and emotional hurdles. There are days when simply managing my health takes all my energy, and layering on additional expectations, even self-imposed ones, can feel overwhelming. It’s a constant balance of caring for my body and nurturing my spirit. Beyond the medical aspect, navigating the world after experiencing past trauma, specifically being trafficked, has profoundly shaped my perspective. It's a journey of healing that continues daily. For a long time, the trauma left me feeling incredibly vulnerable, and finding comfort in my own skin, let alone external expressions of faith, has been a process. There are moments, especially when making videos, where a lack of self-confidence creeps in, making me hesitant to wear it. It’s not about disrespecting my faith; it’s about where I am in my personal healing and growth. Being relatively new to Islam, having embraced it about two years ago, means I'm still very much in a phase of learning and deepening my understanding. It’s a beautiful religion, full of wisdom and compassion, and I'm dedicated to growing in my faith. But learning takes time, and my connection with Allah is deeply personal, not always visibly expressed in one particular way. I believe my actions and intentions speak louder than any outward symbol. I’ve unfortunately encountered a lot of judgment and hate online, especially when people don't understand my choices or my past. It hurts, but I’ve learned to filter out the negativity. It's easy for others to jump to conclusions, but true understanding comes from empathy and a willingness to see beyond the surface. My focus is on my healing, my faith, and sharing my story to help others, which is why I’m pouring my experiences into a book. It’s a powerful way to vent and process, and I hope it can offer solace to anyone who has faced similar struggles. My incredible boyfriend and my unwavering faith have been the pillars that have helped me through the darkest times. They remind me that strength comes from within, and that my journey, with all its complexities, is valid. It's a powerful affirmation that Islam is indeed a beautiful religion that encourages personal growth and resilience, even when the path is unconventional. So, before making quick judgments, I encourage everyone to try and read into people's stories. You never know the battles someone is fighting, or the profound reasons behind their choices.