The Energy You Give Deserves Direction
One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn is that not everything deserves my attention.
As a therapist, I spend my days helping people navigate uncertainty, grief, anxiety, trauma, and relationships. It's taught me something I've had to practice in my own life: peace often comes from recognizing the difference between what I can influence and what I simply have to release.
I can't control how people respond to me. I can't control whether every opportunity works out. I can't control the timing of every dream or every answer.
But I can control how I care for my body, how I protect my peace, how I speak to myself, how I show up for the people I love, and how I choose to respond when life doesn't go according to plan.
Focusing on what we can't control keeps us stuck. Focusing on what we can control helps us keep moving.
Some days that looks like setting a boundary. Some days it looks like asking for help. Some days it simply looks like taking the next right step.
Growth rarely comes from controlling everything around us. It comes from learning to steward ourselves well.
What is one thing you're choosing to focus on today that's actually within your control?
Dee Bloomingmoore 🌺
From my own experience, learning to focus only on what I can control has been transformative. Early on, I often found myself overwhelmed by trying to manage outcomes beyond my reach, whether in relationships, work, or personal goals. It took intentional practice to recognize that the energy I gave deserved clear direction and boundaries. One practical approach I adopted was a daily mindfulness check-in, asking myself: "What is within my control right now?" This simple question helped me relinquish worry over external factors and instead invest in self-care, healthy communication, and thoughtful decision-making. For instance, when faced with uncertainty, rather than ruminate, I focused on regulating my breathing and setting small achievable goals—sometimes just the 'next right step' as the article suggests. The phrase seen on Bloomingmoore’s image, "FOCUS on what you can control," really resonates. It reminded me that control starts with how I manage my reactions and cultivate resilience. Setting boundaries, be it with time, emotional investment, or social interactions, was a crucial part of this. It allowed me to protect my mental and emotional peace, which in turn improved my relationships and productivity. As a therapist points out, growth does not stem from mastering external chaos but from stewarding ourselves with compassion and patience. This perspective encouraged me to view setbacks less as failures and more as opportunities to reassess my energy and redirect it wisely. Whether asking for support or simply resting when needed, each act became part of a sustainable path forward. I encourage anyone feeling stuck to identify one controllable aspect of their day—maybe how they nourish their body, the words they use to speak to themselves, or how they show up for loved ones. Embracing this mindset shift has personally made a profound difference, offering peace amidst uncertainty and empowering me to grow steadily. Ultimately, the energy we choose to give is powerful; directing it well can open doors to lasting fulfillment and well-being.
